Your gay beard is full of poop. Please shave.

Add this share

Summer is here and what better time than now – like right this very minute – to shave that beard and let your face cool off. Also, that mass of facial hair is full of dirt, bacteria and bits of shit. 

The beard fad among gay men has gone on long enough. Sure, bears are entitled. And so are the Manshaft sorts. And if you're a leather daddy and Eagle regular, no need to take any action. But for the rest of you, it's time. Time to stop acting like a grunge gay. Time to stop thinking you're on top of the latest fashion trend. Time to leave behind that gay cliche and let the Radical Faeries have their beards back.

Really, it's just disgusting. Literally. 


A handful of brave men allowed Action 7 News to swab their beards, and the results showed some beards are as dirty as toilets.

Quest Diagnostics microbiologist John Golobic tested the swabs, and the results blew his mind.

“I'm usually not surprised and I was surprised by this,” Golobic said.

Several of the beards that were tested contained a lot of normal bacteria, but some were comparable to toilets.

“Those are the types of things you'd find in (fecal matter),” Golobic said, referring to the tests.

Even though some of the bacteria won’t lead to illness, Golobic said it’s still a little concerning.

“There would be a degree of uncleanliness that would be somewhat disturbing,” Golobic said.

OK, so maybe your gay beard is just as nasty as cutting boards, cell phones and keyboards. But still, shave it off. It's time for a new trend. Just no tattoos or stripy tanks. Maybe a cute bow tie?


Project Q Atlanta goes on hiatus after 14 years

On Sept. 1, 2008, Project Q Atlanta promised a hyper-local “queer media diet” for Atlanta. The site set out to bring LGBTQ news, in-depth...

Photos catch Purple Dress Run invading Midtown

After three years of pandemic-inflicted limitations, Atlanta’s gay rugby squad let loose on one of its most popular events. The Atlanta Bucks Purple Dress...

Ooo Bearracuda: Photos from Bear Pride’s Main Event

The seventh annual Atlanta Bear Pride hit the ground running on Friday with packed houses at Woofs, Heretic and Future. Turned out, they hadn’t...

Atlanta Bear Pride set to go hard and long all weekend

That low, growing growl you hear is a nation of gay bears headed for Atlanta Bear Pride this weekend. By the time they arrive,...

PHOTOS: Armorettes bring back Easter Drag Race magic

Gay Atlanta’s queens of do-good drag brought the sunshine to a cloudy afternoon on Saturday when Heretic hosted the triumphant return of Armorettes Easter...