Bad Romance: How to love yourself and other people

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Hating your reflection? D-I-V-O-R-C-E?  Love is hard. Here’s how to unlock common dilemmas by setting a foundation to make the right call.

Q:

I grew up fat, but I finally turned a corner on fitness, nutrition and the psychology that led me to overeat. Then I slipped into old habits. It didn’t take long to despise my body again.

I recently found my fattest fat pants ever. I see how far I’ve come, and how easily I could slip even further. I need help, hugs and encouragement from those around me to go back to a healthy lifestyle and be proud of my body again.

Dear Former Fat Kid:

Loving your body is the first step, not the last, in this process. Love it enough to eat right and exercise. That includes tough love sometimes, too.

Getting a handle on healthy habits isn’t a one-and-done proposition. It’s for life. Plan for setbacks, when you might need a refresher to get back on track. That you have the know-how from experience is something to celebrate, not get down about.

The most problematic excess is between your ears, not around your waist. Deal with whatever led you to the slip, and buck up. Everyone needs hugs, but you need bootstraps to pull yourself up. You got this.

 

Q:

The day the Supreme Court legalized marriage equality, we looked at each other, put on our shoes, drove downtown, and got married. Romantic, right?

Marriage changed everything. It ruined us. Please tell people not to destroy their relationships by getting married.

Dear Rash:

Every marriage is different, and only as good as its foundation. Yours might have jumped the gun, but don’t assume what everyone else should do in theirs.

One thing is certain. There’s no need to rush into a marriage or do it impulsively. Besides popping “the question,” we can learn a lot by asking tell-all questions like these along the way:

What is your greatest failure?

Biggest dream?

What makes you most grateful?

Who are your best friends and why?

What was your biggest crisis and how did you handle it?

What makes you cry?

What are your favorite and least favorite things about me?

The Q is for entertainment and not counseling. Send your burning Qs to  [email protected].

Illustration by Brad Gibson

This column also appeared in Q ATLus magazine. Read the full issue here: 

Pick up each weekly edition of QATLus at LGBTQ and allied venues around Atlanta, and find fresh content every day right here.

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