It's likely that at some point in cocktailing through gay Atlanta, you will encounter a porn star. At Blake's. At BJ's. At Mary's. At Pride. Don't be intimidated and don't be a douche, either.
Gay men tend to treat their porn bros better than straight guys, who look at them like social pariahs. But there's a level of intimidation when you run into Duncan Black in leather (top photo), Trey Turner slinging drinks or Leo Forte standing next to a sling with rope in his hand. To me, they're just normal people who happen to have a fun job. Then again, I've dabbled in porn and maintain friendships with several.
Still, I always see gay man act like a tween girl when she meets Harry Styles. Okay, I'd scream and jizz on Harry Styles, too. Bad example. In any case, here are some helpful hints so you can cope the next time you see Charlie Harding in red pumps.
Don’t be intimidated.
Yes, they are muscley and hot. But you've already seen every crevice of their bodies. The notion that you should be nervous is silly. It's not like he's sitting on a traffic cone. Oh, wait.
Calm the fuck down.
Porn stars generally revel in the recognition. But it’s still pretty obnoxious when you have a rabid “fan” fawning over you. You might admire their ability to take a dick, but keep in mind their entire job is sex, so it’s actually sort of a nice departure when they don’t have to be enveloped with it in when they're not in front of a camera. So say hi. Look them in the eyes, not their junk. And try not to drool.
Don’t be a creeper.
Creepers are an unfortunate part of life, but porn stars get more than their fair share. Don’t be one of those guys. If you like them in a film, cool. But it breaches creeper territory when you tell him how you preferred their body hair patterns in "10 Things I'd Lick About You" over that sweaty look they had in "Bareback Me On The Bench Press." That’s an indication you’ve been watching what’s supposed to be nonchalant sexual entertainment a little too closely.
They aren't dumb.
I hate to perpetuate the stereotype that porn stars are dumb, because I’m friends with plenty who are some of the most brilliant people I’ve ever met. But the reality is that some are flat-out moronic. By that same token, even the stupid ones are perceptive and can see straight through your bullshit. So while they may not talk Kierkegaard with you, your ridiculous pickup efforts are ineffective.
Don’t treat them like a slut.
What’s always irked me about the perception of the sex industry as a whole is the outside view that they must all be complete harlots. The problem with self-objectification is that you invite people to view you as an object, meaning they disregard your humanity. By and large, bona fide porn stars have much more self-respect for themselves than that and will shut you down the minute you start treating them like a cheap concubine.
Your junk isn't that impressive.
Yes, porn stars are people, too. But their day job also exposes them to beautiful cocks. A multitude of them in all shapes, sizes and colors. Unless what falls out of your pants is akin to what Ben Andrews is packing, don’t step to a gay porn star bragging about the size of your dong. In the immortal words of Shania Twain: That don’t impress me much.
Be Yourself.
Above all else, treat them normally. And don't droll. After all, the only reason you’re placing them on a pedestal is because they dared to make a public spectacle out of an act we all engage in, with the exception of maybe nuns and mongrels. And you if you're a douche when you meet them.
