For gay men who cringe at the thought of labia love and lesbians who shake their head at the thought of sword fighting, here’s some news for you: Gay men get their nut just like lesbians. That kernel of truth comes via a takedown of the sex ed you probably never got, courtesy the GA Voice’s Sex & Dating issue. While they split up their sex lessons into tips for the gays and others for the lesbians, looking at them shows that the lady tips are similar to sex truisms for men, too. Our gay sex is pretty similar to your lesbian version. To wit:

Let yourself enjoy masturbation. Research shows that women who masturbate more are more orgasmic and report greater sexual satisfaction with a partner. Masturbation is also the best way to develop arousal and orgasm pathways that increase pleasure with a partner. It’s good for your sexual heath!

What gay guy hasn’t jerked off for greater sexual satisfaction, partner or not?

The First Time is fraught with peril; big excitement, big anxiety. Go slow, and talk as much as you need to. Many women say they feel very awkward, or vulnerable about getting undressed, or too nervous to have an orgasm with a new partner. Getting comfortable enough to enjoy sexual intimacy with another person takes some time and experience, neither of which can be rushed.

Yes, gay men are vulnerable, too. Some are a little weird about getting naked. And who wasn’t nervous when that first time was with your high school teammate in the lockerroom, the college roommate or some random, nameless guy in a place you’d rather not speak of? But as gay men, here’s where the similarities with our lesbian sisters and their sex stops.

Don’t compare or complain. Never, ever ridicule your partner, compare her to previous lovers, or complain about your sex life to mutual friends. You wouldn’t want her to do it to you, and you can’t un-do the damage.

Of course we do. Atlanta gay men are hung, kinky, size queens and we compare. If it doesn’t match up – to us, past hook-ups or the hottie at the gym – we complain. To our friends. To the bartender. To anyone who will listen. And you can bet we’ll refer to it in our Grindr and Manunt profiles.

Be curious, but never judgmental. Keep an open mind about your partners’ feelings about sex. People are different! You need to understand her likes and dislikes, and her beliefs about sex. Non-judgmental curiosity can help her open up to you. Disapproval or unsolicited advice will shut her down immediately.

Don’t be judgmental? Please. See above.