‘True Blood’: The battle royale for Bon Temp

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imageAre you surprised that Eric’s ass and a Siouxsie and the Banshees’ song beat out the much-awaited vampires vs. witches epic showdown as the best moments of this week’s “True Blood”?

Diehard “True Blood” fans have noticed that the title of each episode is the song that plays as the end credits roll. Siouxsie & Co’s “Spellbound” fits this week’s frenzied final minutes perfectly. Oh wait. There’s a whole show before that, and it’s a slight improvement over the otherwise plodding pace of this season. Even with a few plotlines finally connecting, is “True Blood” running cold? Let’s see.

imageWhen last we visited Bon Temp, one hell of a cliffhanger was brewing. As we return this week, we’re right back in the thick of it. Antonia-possessed Marnie is still levitating above her coven in a spell-casting trance to draw all vampires into the searing sun. Jessica is still stepping into the light and roasting. True to “True Blood,” the drama doesn’t last long. Jason to the rescue. She turns on him for a second (top photo), but they decide to make out instead.

Since the vamps saw the spell coming and chained themselves down, everybody else – save one Southern fried vampire who wasn’t in the loop – survives. A little rest, a little blood nourishment, and in Eric’s case, a lot of sex and bare grab-ass with Sookie, and they’re ready to get on with the show.

imageEric and Sookie drink from each other and hit the shower. Cue sexual fantasyland. It’s sunny and snowy at the same time, there’s a bed, and they’re both naked. In the immortal words of Marvin Gaye, let’s get it on. A little bow-chicka-wow-wow and schmaltzy pillow talk (second photo) gives Bill time to set up a meeting/cemetery battle with the witches for later and Jessica time to dream of killing Hoyt then break up with him.

If “True Blood” was more about Lafayette or Tommy, the episode title and the last song would be “Man, I Feel Like a Woman.” The new ghost in La-La’s life – a Creole woman whose white baby daddy kills their offspring in the ‘30s – enters Lafayette’s body, gets a gun and snatches Arlene and Terry’s baby. Tommy shifts into Mrs. Fortenberry for some fast cash. Stay tuned. At least it’s better than Lafayette running around saying “Aw hell naw” in every scene.

imageAs the vampires approach the witching hour, Bill and Mar-tonia (third photo) meet at the appointed time and place. Neither comes alone. In a Sharks-versus-Jets moment where nearly all the principal cast takes sides, a feeble negotiation belies the intent to throw down. Cue a thick fog and a quick kill, and it’s on like Donkey Kong. Witches and vampires both take serious hits and losses, Eric succumbs to a deeper spell, and in the melee of the battle royale, Sookie takes a bullet (bottom photo).

Let’s call it this week’s cliffhanger, and download Siouxsie and Banshees while we wait another week to see what happens.


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