The gays get ready for ‘Sex and the City 2’

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imageDon’t hate us, but we’ve already seen “Sex and the City 2.” We agreed not to discuss it until opening day, but to whet your appetite, here’s a look back at our 10 favorite moments from the series.

Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker), Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall), Charlotte York (Kristin Davis) and Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon) changed TV forever back in June 1998 and reunited for the 2008 feature film.

Before we can blab about the sequel, here is our unscientific glance back at the Top 10 defining moments in the beloved, bawdy Emmy-winning HBO series and the fearless New York foursome. And trust: We could have gone on and on. Tell us your favorite moment in the comments section below the story.

1. Charlotte contemplates anal sex. (Episode 4, “Valley of the Twenty-Something Guys”). This first season episode was the moment the series served notice that it wasn’t standard sitcom fodder. Charlotte’s new boyfriend wants some backdoor fun, and the girls discuss the ramifications over a hilarious taxi ride. “I don’t want to be the up the butt girl. No one wants to marry the up the butt girl,” says prim and proper Charlotte, before she decides on some non-caboose intercourse.

2. Threeways and Tantra (Episode 28, “Was it Good For You?”) While Samantha is asked to be part of a threeway with two gay friends, Charlotte’s boyfriend falls asleep while inside her. Determined to improve her lovemaking skills, Charlotte drags the girls to a tantric sex workshop, where a human “guinea pig” cums so fiercely that he gives Miranda some new hair gel.

image3. Funky spunk. (Episode 39, “Easy Come, Easy Go”) Samantha s boyfriend has jizz that tastes likes a trip to the “rotten egg buffet.” With her friends unable to help her out, she tries to find something to make the spunk more palatable. Props to guest star Bobby Cannavale, who gleefully shows his ass and pubes, even agreeing to a taste test of his own sour baby batter before Samantha goes down on him again.

4. Carrie and Aidan break up for the first time (Episode 42, “Don’t’ Ask, Don’t Tell”) “Sex and the City” was known for his sexual frankness and fashion, but it could also pierce an artery from time to time. No one loved Carrie liked John Corbett’s Aidan, and when she broke the news to him that she had been sleeping with ex beau Big, the two have a painful breakup just moments before Charlotte marries Trey MacDougal.

5. Carrie and her comic book store owner (Episode 45, “Hot Child in the City) Season three was the undisputed high point of the series, and this episode clicked on all cylinders. Miranda gets braces; Samantha is hired by a sexually active 13-year to plan her bat mitzvah party; and Charlotte finds (a seemingly impotent) Trey jerking off to Juggs magazine. But Carrie’s affair with comic book store owner Wade Adams (still living with his parents) steals the show. After getting stoned at his place, Carrie and Wade must clean up an apartment full of half eaten chicken wings when they see Wade’s mother arriving home early.

image6. Samantha vs. transsexuals (Episode 48, “Cock-a-Doodle-do,” photo) Samantha can deal with occasionally losing sleep, but losing an orgasm with a hot guy because of loud transsexual hookers outside her apartment stirs up a war. Luckily, the sides reconcile and join forces for a rooftop soiree.

7. Carrie’s runway trip (Episode 50, “The Real Me”) Margaret Cho and Alan Cumming guest starred in this classic season four episode. All the girls have vivid storylines – Samantha poses nude while she feels she still can; Miranda gets a lesson in confidence from a guy at the gym; and Charlotte’s vagina has the blues. (“It’s ugly,” Charlottes quips. “Well maybe that’s why it’s depressed,” snaps Miranda.) Yet Carrie’s runway tumble is the highlight. After agreeing to be a celebrity guest in a fashion show run by Margaret Cho, she falls on her face on the runway, with Heidi Klum literally stepping over her. Carrie’s gay friend Stanford provided the summer’s biggest howler – “Oh my God, she’s fashion road kill.”

8. Bozo the Bush. (Episode 86, “One”) Miranda finally fesses up to Steve that she loves him at their son’s birthday party, and Charlotte summons up the strength to move on after losing her baby. Yet the crux is Samantha finding a grey pubic hair and coloring it – accidentally turning her twat scarlet red. She corners Carrie (already unnerved by the appearance of a clown at the party). “No man wants to fuck grandma’s pussy,” cries Samantha. “This is a child’s birthday party,” says a frightened Carrie, who soon gets a first-hand view. This episode was named as one of TV Guide’s 50 Funniest TV Moments of all time – for a reason.

image9. Miranda Hobbs does Miranda Hobbs (Episode 88, “The Ick Factor,” photo) Dubbed “my cynical touchstone” by Carrie, Miranda decides to marry her on-again, off-again boyfriend Steve, but not before snapping at a sales clerk who dares to bring her a white tutu as a potential wedding dress and deriding the Russian Aleksandr Petrovsky’s courting of Carrie. Later Miranda breaks free from her wedding party to insist Samantha tell her about her recent discovery of breast cancer. This is the episode which finally saw the (now out lesbian) Nixon wrestle a Best Supporting Actress Emmy from “Everyone Loves Raymond’s” Doris Roberts.

10. Carrie returns to New York. (Episode 94, “An American Girl in Paris, Part Deux”) After moving to Paris with Petrovsky, Carrie is taken back to the Big Apple by Big. If the series finale felt a little anticlimactic – and Petrovsky a bit of a snooze – it at least takes Carrie back to be with her two best suitors – New York and her gal pals, seated around a restaurant table missing her.

“Sex and the City 2” opens Thursday, May 27, and we’ll give you the lowdown that morning.

imageJim Farmer is an Atlanta-based freelance writer and public relations professional specializing in film promotions. He is the director of the annual Out On Film, Atlanta’s gay and lesbian film festival, and has been a theater and pop-culture critic for more than a dozen years.

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