Stud Disbelief: Rejecting signs of femininity

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imageAlix B. Golden started her life as a Carolina Girl, but matured into a Georgia Peach. This freelancer dishes on sex, relationships and dating often revealing more than she should about her own life. Read more from her at A Brown Girl.

Let me set the scene. Imagine you are a femme. You are sitting woman approaching you. She’s wearing a ball cap, loose men’s jeans, sneakers and a polo. Your eyes have classified her as a stud. You make small talk and exchange numbers. You spend hours and hours talking. You find out that she:

Would carry a child (or has a kid already)
Gets a manicure & pedicure on a regular basis (with polish)
Can walk in heels better than you
Has a standing 3 week hair appointment at the beauty salon to keep her short do tight
Wears panties (not just when her period is on)
Owns eyeliner
Knows less about cars than you
Can bounce her ass with the best of them

Would any of this behavior bother you? Would it bother you enough to keep you from dating her?

There are certain behaviors that seem to be associated with a woman that looks to be a stud. I use the phrase “looks to be a stud” because when we see someone we are applying the label to them based on their outside appearance. We don’t know who they are on the inside. She wears men’s clothing, but that doesn’t make her a stud. It’s deeper than that…

Because this woman prefers to wear men’s clothes people expect certain things from them. It’s almost as if they are supposed to forget and reject anything that remotely suggests femininity. At the same time, they are supposed to embrace all things masculine. And if they don’t, somehow their community sees them as lacking.

Doesn’t quite seem fair to me.

Are there things that you think studs aren’t supposed to do? What do you expect from studs?

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