‘Runway’ recap: Tall tale of stilted catwalking

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READ MORE | ‘Runway’ coverage and recaps from seasons 7, 8 and 9 imageIs anybody else distracted by the disturbing stilt-walkers on this week’s “Project Runway”? The whole thing is just weird, and it throws the designers off their game just as much as it does us. The little body-giant legs thing is enough when they’re standing still, but the way the guest models move on their stilts is downright freaky. Do these people normally do tricks on the stilts, or is this mis-stepping their whole bag? It’s not much of a career choice. But before we get to “Runway’s” first outdoor freakshow, it’s all about teamwork – or lack thereof – in the workroom. Yes, the catwalk is preceded by catfights. Maybe even earlier than we expected, the claws of both Bert and Viktor come out at the same time. Their pairing becomes a contest to see who’s better at bickering and a bigger bitch. Tie. imageJoshua and Julie don’t exactly fight; he just talks smack behind her back as they prep a Bedazzled Matador Circus Freak (top photo). Bryce follows suit with his partner Fallene, passive-aggressively stewing when she’s around and announcing her lack of skill when she isn’t in the room. He’s not one to talk. It’s clear that their Black Swan From Hell is Fallene’s fault, but this is the second week that Bryce is deemed safe through no feat of his own. And in the name of all that is holy, the lack of collaboration between Bert and Viktor shows on the runway. They threw terms like “Victorian” and “Elizabethan” around, but those are just words if they don’t appear in the design. imageGuest judge Kim Kardashian has no room to talk about petty TV arguments, but she’s right that the disparate fabric choices by Bert and Viktor look like curtains a la “The Sound of Music.” “Gone With the Wind” is a better analogy for this creation (second photo), but she’s stupid so it’s OK. Attitude Kimberly and Too Old For That Hair Becky are opposite ends of every conceivable spectrum. Both show talent, and Kimberly has shown well so far, but their tastes are so different. Like some of the other teams, they don’t see eye to eye, but they somehow manage a cohesive, if Star Trekian, puke green punk look that the judges put into the top three (third photo). For once, we can’t completely blame the judges as much as the challenge itself. None of this week’s looks are awe-inspiring outside the stilt-jacked proportions. imageThe only two teams that manage some semblance of fashion from freaky are Anthony Ryan with Laura (bottom photo), who deservedly take the win, and Anya with Olivier. While we’re not blown away this time, these gays and gals should go far in the competition. The latter pair should have made the top three. We deem it best not to even talk about the boring chiffone pantsuit-melonhead hairdo that Cecilia and Danielle sent down the runway. When all that was stilted was done, poor little Fallene took the bullet she deserved. With 13 contestants still left in the competition, it’s easy to let people go at this point. Auf wedersehen, sister. Next! Maybe you'll make the new autumn show "Project Runway: All Stars" like Atlanta's own Anthony Williams someday. Then again, probably not. Click the images here for larger views, and check out the all of this week's looks on the show’s “Rate the Runway” page.


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