Project ‘Idol’ Wednesday: Final 2 revealed

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imageIt was only a matter of time before Justin Bieber and his nonsensical hair showed up on “American Idol” to make all the tweens cream their underoos, and Wednesday’s results show was the night.

But before that, we had 10 minutes of Miss Seacrest asking the Top 3 awkward questions about how “Idol” has changed their lives, then clips of them going to their hometowns for staged concerts plus crazed fans crying and chasing them through the streets. Really? Seriously?

Casey James (top photo) went back to Texas, including the hospital to thank the doctors who saved his life after a bad accident. It seemed forced and staged. Oh, yeah, it was.

And then it was first guest performance. Who the fuck is Travis Garland? Oh, I see…some twink Perez Hilton wants to bone. Got it. Check. I don’t think this kid was ready for primetime. He couldn’t keep up with his backing track, the choreography was half-assed, and the falsetto sounded like a cat being strangled in a bag.

imageCrystal Bowersox (middle photo) went home to Toledo and seemed freaked out by all the attention.

A sweet little baby dyke came out and performed two songs…oh, wait, that was Bieber. He grabbed his crotch a lot and then played on some big drums.

It was like watching your three-year-old nephew run around at Toys ‘R Us. Someone probably had to burp him backstage.

Some queen had Crystal sign his chest for a tattoo, and then she performed at “Bowerstock” to an audience that stretched as far as the eye could see.
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Lee Dewyze (bottom photo) went home to Chicago to visit his elementary school and the paint store he used to work in.

At the end of the hour, it was no surprise that Cougar Bait Casey was sent home, which means Crystal and Lee go head to head in the finale next Tuesday night.

The end is near.

Collin. Out.

imageCollin Kelley is a poet, Atlanta-based journalist and author of the recently released novel, “Conquering Venus.” Follow him on the Modern Confessional blog at collinkelley.com.

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