Project ‘Idol’ Tuesday: Top 8 Ladies’ Night

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With only eight girls left, Tuesday’s episode of “American Idol” was cut to an hour, which meant very little yammering by Miss Seacrest. That was one blessing.

But we did have to endure Ellen pawing all over Simon during the judges’ introductions to dispel rumors they aren’t getting along. Blech.

Katie Stevens: She’s pretty and has a pleasant voice, but she’s boring. Her cover of Kelly Clarkson’s “Break Away” was copycat karaoke, but nowhere close to the original. At 17, the most Katie has ever had to break away from is texting with her girlfriends.

imageSibohan Magnus (top photo): She’s the dark horse for sure, and after a masterful cover of “House of the Rising Sun,” Crystal Bowersox has some serious competition. Simon hated it, but he’s already pimping Bowersox as the winner in interviews.

Lacey Brown: She sang Brandi Carlile’s “The Story” with her quivering voice that sounds like a cross between Harriet Wheeler from The Sundays and Leigh Nash from Sixpence None the Richer—but of course, isn’t nearly as good. Lacey can interpret, but brings nothing new to the mix.

imageKatelyn Epperly (second photo): She’s got cruise ship singer written all over her after that bland cover of Carole King’s “I Feel the Earth Move.” She had Carole’s hair and stood behind a Wurlitzer, but it was a deathly pale imitation. She’s in trouble.

Didi Benami: Why did Fleetwood Mac license their music to “Idol?” And why do the girls always have to destroy a Stevie song? “Rhiannon” has an urgency about it that was stripped in this quiet, acoustic cover. Randy correctly said there was no “wow” moment, but Simon loved it. That new fiancée of his must be slipping him dope.

imagePaige Miles (bottom photo): Is she trying to get voted off? After covering Charlie Chaplin’s “Smile” in a pitchy, wavering voice, it’s almost as if she was told to fall on her sword. In a word: terrible. She’ll be going home.

Crystal Bowersox: Another fine performance, with a bluesy guitar take on Tracy Chapman’s “Give Me One Reason.” She’s still got the best voice of any of the girls, with a real grit and passion lacking in any of the other contestants. Simon said the competition was hers to lose. No pressure, then.

Lilly Scott: That sound you hear is Patsy Cline twirling in her grave after Lilly’s flat, out of tune cover of “I Fall To Pieces.” The judges loved it (Simon was so-so), but they’d better go back and listen again because it was fucking awful.

Who’s going home Thursday? Katelyn and Paige. Wednesday night, the Top 8 boys sing, but the show is on an hour later at 9 p.m.

Collin. Out.

imageCollin Kelley is a poet, Atlanta-based journalist and author of the recently released novel, “Conquering Venus.” Follow him on the Modern Confessional blog at collinkelley.com.

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