Gone are Janell Wheeler, Ashley Rodriguez, Joe Munoz and Tyler Grady (photos, top to bottom).
The reason that Lacey Brown, Tim Urban and Todrick Hall are still there after giving nightmarish performances can only be explained by viewer backlash against the judges–especially Simon–who were extra harsh.
Like Ellen, I’m no musical expert, but even my untrained ears can recognize that Tim Urban and Lacey Brown simply cannot sing. Maybe Tim got some extra votes for his middle school haircut (hat tip to reader Tania for that) from the tweens, but there’s no excuse for Lacey.
The only prediction I got right was Tyler, the Jim Morrison wannabe, who got pissy after he was voted off saying he didn’t get any constructive criticism from the judges. I’ve got some for ya: cut your hair, buy some new clothes and join the rest of us in the 21st century.
Before the eliminations, the show opened with a staple of each results show: a horrific group sing complete with awkward dancing, mugging at the camera and less than perfect harmonies. Tonight, it was Estelle’s “American Boy” transformed into Muzak hell. Haeley had a giant cocktail stick stuck into her skull and Casey, cute as he is, looked like a doofus.
Last season’s Alison Iraheta has transformed into a cross between Pink and Stevie Nicks. She sang her new single “Scars.” It was a bit over-emotive, but she’s better than any of the girls competing this season. Ouch.
Last season’s winner, Kris Allen, showed up to sing a cover of “Let It Be,” which can be downloaded on iTunes and all proceeds go to Haiti relief. You can also go to americanidol.com and find out how to make a donation by text or online.
Collin Kelley is a poet, Atlanta-based journalist and author of the recently released novel, “Conquering Venus.” Follow him on the Modern Confessional blog at collinkelley.com.