Oh the tangled web of sex with coworkers

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The thrill of office-party hookups, interoffice flirting and longterm secret affairs between coworkers is gone when the jig is up, or the participants realize they don’t see eye to eye on what’s happening.

Q:

Things got a little out of hand at our office holiday party. Next thing you know, I’m sucking the chrome off this “straight” coworker’s trailer hitch.

He texted me that weekend, and I met him to do it again. Come Monday, I tried to let him know it’s cool and he can get it whenever he wants, but he acted like nothing happened. When cornered, he asked me to respect his privacy and leave him alone.

I think he’s gay, obviously, but I’m not sure how to proceed.

Dear Thirsty:

There’s nothing obvious about his sexual orientation, but you have more dilemmas than whether he’s gay, bisexual, questioning or just into good blowjobs.

Welcome to the obstacle course of hurdles and hoops that is sex with a co-worker. The distraction during work will occupy both of you for a while, but you aren’t the first or last to deal with it.

He shut you down, so the next move, if any, is his. Step away from the penis, and find a new trailer hitch to polish. Maybe one who doesn’t work with you.

Q:

I’m a doctor in a local clinic. My personal and professional ethics make it pretty easy to avoid relatively regular advances from patients, but flirting with this new, hot, sexy fellow doctor is tempting.

The nurses and office staff are giggling, but I can’t help myself. He really has it going on, and the flirting is a real rush. Is it acceptable to go for it, or am I crossing a line?

Dear Sup Doc:

We can earn degrees, but it’s tougher to educate our libidos. Consider yourself back in school, and this is the principal’s office.

Sure, a gay Grey’s Anatomy fantasy in the janitor’s closet is hot. But being fodder for gossip is especially troublesome in an office where patients and staff depend on your public image and having your brain on task.

This kind of kid stuff not only shows your ass, but is telling. Two doctors really interested in each other could grow up and go out for drinks, but something else is up if you’re conducting your foreplay with an audience.

Q:

I’m 22, and I started sleeping with an older coworker when I was 19. I quit so we could date in the open, but now they just want a physical relationship and insist it’s still not a good idea to let anyone know we’re together.

Dear Player 1:

This may be tough to hear. They are relationship material for you, but you are a plaything for them. While you fretted the drama of hiding, they feasted on it. For people like this, forbidden sex is more interesting than having everything above board. If you can’t get on the same page, turn to your next chapter.

Q Advice is for entertainment, not counseling. Send burning Qs to [email protected].

Illustration by Brad Gibson

This column also appeared in QATLus magazine. Read the full issue here:

Pick up each weekly edition of QATLus at LGBTQ and allied venues around Atlanta, and find fresh content every day right here.

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