A cuddle trick is apparently a thing now and gay Atlanta porn producer Jason Sparks wants you to be a better one. So he's lined up two of his twinkish sexy sex guys to give you guidance because no one wants to cuddle with a bag of herpes, right? Right.
Sparks sat C.K. Steel and Landon Wright down to offer tips on kissing and cuddling for the first episode of his YouTube series “Gay Code,” which you can watch above. You'd think the skill set of guys who do porn wouldn't include staying dressed and offering advice, but it works. Mostly because these two will say just about anything.
Our favorite quips:
“Don't open up your mouth as if you're going to eat my lips.”
“Nobody wants some guy with rank ass breath on their face.”
“When I bring home a cuddle buddy and that cuddle buddy tries to come in my back door, you gotta go. No warning. You are out.”
“Don't leave your nasty underwear on the floor. Don't puke in my bed.”
“I just want a clean guy, not a bag of trash. I don't want to be repulsed by you. I don't want to feel like I have to shower in bleach after I get out of bed. You know, clean. Be clean. Otherwise I feel like I'm cuddling with a bag of herpes.”
“You gotta have breath mints … anything to make your mouth taste better.”
“I hate it when guys kiss they make squeaking noises.”
“If you can't cuddle, I can't have sex with you.”
“I can't do sweaty guys.”