Need Wood? Man-odor versus ‘Man! Odor!’

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It’s big; it’s beautiful; and you love it. Trouble is, the boyfriend doesn’t keep it clean. What to do when you’re headed downtown like an express train only to be stopped by the fumes.

Hey Mike!
imageI’m not gonna lie. I love giving head to my boyfriend, but he’s one of those guys that should have been born straight—his room’s a mess, he’ll go days without showering, and he thinks being clean means not using drugs.

The thing is, he’s got the most beautiful dick I’ve ever seen and I’m obsessed with going down on him. Yet the smell repulses me because he plays fast and loose with hygiene. I get the whole man-odor thing, but trust me when I say my man takes it too far.

Am I being unreasonable that he keeps himself clean? Or am I just spoiling the spontaneity by insisting that he shower first?
–Gagging for the wrong reason

Dear Gagging:
imageMost men would crawl through cut glass to get more oral sex, and yours won’t even reach for a bar of soap? Something’s not right.

One possibility is that he simply doesn’t enjoy oral sex enough to keep clean. An uglier possibility is that you’re simply not very good at it.

Now, I doubt that because guys who like it tend to be good at it. Still, I’d check. Put it to him simply and directly: “I love going down on you and I want to be better at it. Is there anything you want me to do that I’m not doing?”

For the record, I think he’s being unfair to you. Although there’s something to be said for male “ripeness,” most guys don’t want to go down on a man who they can smell before they can see.

Cleanliness is a small price to pay for a great roll in the hay. If he’s simply a slob, there are a few things you can do to keep Mr. Stink Bomb from blowing up your sex life:

Pour the powder. Between showers, baby powder around the crotch area helps soak up the moisture and sweat that causes bad odors.

Make friends with the nozzle. When you feel that urge to merge, guide him to the shower and have your way with him. Wet it may feel, but spontaneous it will be.

Buy him new underwear. Clothing manufacturers have developed fabrics for athletes that draw perspiration away from the skin to the surface of the underwear, where it evaporates.

imageContributing blogger Mike Alvear is an Atlanta-based columnist, author and TV personality. Dating life in the dirt? Download his ebooks, “Attract Hotter Guys with the Secrets & Science of Sexual Body Language,” and “Attract Hotter Guys Online: The Secrets To Making Yourself Irresistible on Gay Dating Sites.” Have a question for Need Wood? Just {encode=”[email protected]” title=”send it in”}.

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