Need Wood? How much is too much semen?

Add this share
Two questions this week, both about ejaculate. Oh, the places gay men’s minds go: If you’re not concerned about a lower volume of semen on the one hand, you’re worried about its carb count on the other. Seriously.

READ MORE | Catch up on all the Need Wood? columns on Project Q

imageHey, Mike!
I’ve noticed that as the years go by, less and less semen is coming out of me when I ejaculate.

Is this a sign of something bad?
–Up and Comer

Dear Comer:
No, it’s not a sign of something bad. It’s a sign of something older—you. As we age, the prostate and surrounding glands carrying seminal fluid go through changes that often result in a decrease in volume.

And younger guys: It’s not just age that’ll reduce the volume. It could be that you’re jerking off more. It takes time for the glands to restore the volume of secretions.

Now, is it me or is secretion one ugly-ass word?

Anyway, medications, surgery or diabetes can also affect semen volume. And so can the most easily overlooked cause: Dehydration.

Drink plenty of water. The best way to tell if you’re properly hydrated is to look at the color of your pee. The darker the urine, the more dehydrated you are. You want your pee to be as clear as water.

imageHey Mike!
My partner and I are on a low carb diet. We both like oral sex, and I really enjoy the taste of his cum.

So much so that I always swallow it. We’re in a committed relationship and are both negative, so we have agreed to that.

So my question is: Are there a lot of carbs in semen? Will gulping his load ruin my diet?
— Cum Slut

Dear Cum Slut:
I don’t think there’s any danger of your body going from Chippendale dancer to Chips-a-hoy dancer from swallowing semen. The average amount of ejaculate is between 1-2 teaspoonfuls—about 12 calories a load.

About 90 percent of it is water, with the other 10 percent consisting of protein, carbohydrates, lipids (fats), sugars and small amounts of minerals such as zinc and selenium. By the way, only about one percent of semen is actually sperm. That’s why straight guys who get a vasectomy don’t see any difference in the volume of their ejaculate.

So no, I don’t think your boyfriend blowing his load in your mouth is going to blow your diet.

By the way, quality and consistency of semen varies from man to man, from ejaculation to ejaculation, from ejaculation to man, from….wait, I’m getting confused. Anyway, it can be thick or watery, white, off-white, slightly yellowed or even clear.

Why? Depends—on how recently was the last time you ejaculated, how hydrated you are, and the amount of sexual stimulation you got before the rocket exploded.

There’s not enough of anything in semen to make it good or bad for you. So go ahead and siphon the python if you’re secure in the safety aspect.

imageContributing blogger Mike Alvear is an Atlanta-based columnist, author and TV personality. Dating life in the dirt? Download his ebooks, “Attract Hotter Guys with the Secrets & Science of Sexual Body Language,” and “Attract Hotter Guys Online: The Secrets To Making Yourself Irresistible on Gay Dating Sites.” Have a question for Need Wood? Just {encode=”[email protected]” title=”send it in”}.


10 people you never, ever want to date again

You know them. Maybe you loved them. Just say no to the these 10 LGBTQ people who we never, ever want to date again.   Bitter &...

The best LGBTQ things to do in Atlanta this weekend

Shows, sports and other queer shenanigans top a busy list of Atlanta events for LGBTQ and allied weekenders. Keep scrolling and click on each event...

Gender nonconforming person beaten, puppy stolen in Midtown

An armed robber pistol-whipped a 53-year-old gender nonconforming person in his Midtown home last month then stole the victim's puppy. The suspect is still...

Q ATLus catches Atlanta dreaming of Pride Weekend

Every last one of us will probably take a different route to celebrating Pride 2021, and that’s OK. With love in their hearts and safety...

Atlanta at center of jump in anti-LGBTQ hate crimes

Two-thirds of the 28 anti-LGBTQ hate crimes reported in Georgia by the FBI in 2020 occurred in metro Atlanta. The number of overall hate crimes...