Need Wood? Body image keeps sex in the dark

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So your boyfriend has put on a little weight. You actually love it, but now he won’t do anything in bed unless it’s in the dark. Here’s how you can help increase his body confidence.

Hey, Mike!
imageMy boyfriend is so ashamed of his body that we only make love in the dark, and only in the missionary position.

I don’t like these skinny bitches I see flouncing around the park. I like a little junk in the trunk! But the extra weight bothers him, and we’re not as adventurous as we used to be.

How can I get him to be more adventurous without having him go on a diet?
— Wanting more

Dear Wanting:
The reason he likes the missionary position –and only the missionary position—is that it’s the only position that keeps you from seeing his body. People ashamed of their bodies, scared of having other people look at them in the nude, only feel comfortable in positions that prevent their partner from seeing what they consider shameful.

imageStart the healing process by telling him how much you appreciate his physical appearance. Be specific. Saying you love his body is good. Saying you love the shape of his legs is better. Saying you couldn’t concentrate at work because you were obsessing over his dick is even better.

Those are some “dos.” Here are the “don’ts” – and you know, the “don’ts” are always more fun:

When you’re in a restaurant? Hand him a menu, not an estimate. When you’re being romantic? Whisper sweet nothings in his ears, just make sure they’re not insulting. It’s one thing to say, “You are the reason the sun comes up in the morning.” It’s another to say, “You are the reason the Earth wobbles on its axis.”

OK, back to the “dos.” Introduce candles into your love life. They smooth out skin tones, hide imperfections and create a romantic aura. Or simply put table lamps on the floor. The up lighting creates a dramatic effect without putting an unwanted spotlight on his body.

One of the best things you can do is to give him the tools to go from being self-conscious to feeling self-confident. Buy him the best book I’ve seen on the subject, “The Body Image Workbook: An 8-Step Program for Learning to Like Your Looks.”

imageContributing blogger Mike Alvear is an Atlanta-based columnist, author and TV personality. Dating life in the dirt? Download his ebooks, “Attract Hotter Guys with the Secrets & Science of Sexual Body Language,” and “Attract Hotter Guys Online: The Secrets To Making Yourself Irresistible on Gay Dating Sites.” Have a question for Need Wood? Just {encode=”[email protected]” title=”send it in”}.


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