Two questions this week, both about ejaculate. Oh, the places gay men’s minds go: If you’re not concerned about a lower volume of semen on the one hand, you’re worried about its carb count on the other. Seriously. READ MORE | Catch up on all the Need Wood? columns on Project Q Hey, Mike! I’ve noticed that as the years go by, less and less semen is coming out of me when I ejaculate. Is this a sign of something bad? --Up and Comer Dear Comer: No, it’s not a sign of something bad. It’s a sign of something older—you. As we age, the prostate and surrounding glands carrying seminal fluid go through changes that often result in a decrease in volume. And younger guys: It’s not just age that’ll reduce the volume. It could be that you’re jerking off more. It takes time for the glands to restore the volume of secretions. Now, is it me or is secretion one ugly-ass word? Anyway, medications, surgery or diabetes can also affect semen volume. And so can the most easily overlooked cause: Dehydration. Drink plenty of water. The best way to tell if you’re properly hydrated is to look at the color of your pee. The darker the urine, the more dehydrated you are. You want your pee to be as clear as water. Hey Mike! My partner and I are on a low carb diet. We both like oral sex, and I really enjoy the taste of his cum. So much so that I always swallow it. We’re in a committed relationship and are both negative, so we have agreed to that. So my question is: Are there a lot of carbs in semen? Will gulping his load ruin my diet? -- Cum Slut Dear Cum Slut: I don’t think there’s any danger of your body going from Chippendale dancer to Chips-a-hoy dancer from swallowing semen. The average amount of ejaculate is between 1-2 teaspoonfuls—about 12 calories a load. About 90 percent of it is water, with the other 10 percent consisting of protein, carbohydrates, lipids (fats), sugars and small amounts of minerals such as zinc and selenium. By the way, only about one percent of semen is actually sperm. That’s why straight guys who get a vasectomy don’t see any difference in the volume of their ejaculate. So no, I don’t think your boyfriend blowing his load in your mouth is going to blow your diet. By the way, quality and consistency of semen varies from man to man, from ejaculation to ejaculation, from ejaculation to man, from….wait, I’m getting confused. Anyway, it can be thick or watery, white, off-white, slightly yellowed or even clear. Why? Depends—on how recently was the last time you ejaculated, how hydrated you are, and the amount of sexual stimulation you got before the rocket exploded. There’s not enough of anything in semen to make it good or bad for you. So go ahead and siphon the python if you’re secure in the safety aspect. Contributing blogger Mike Alvear is an Atlanta-based columnist, author and TV personality. Dating life in the dirt? Download his ebooks, “Attract Hotter Guys with the Secrets & Science of Sexual Body Language,” and “Attract Hotter Guys Online: The Secrets To Making Yourself Irresistible on Gay Dating Sites.” Have a question for Need Wood? Just {encode="[email protected]" title="send it in"}.