Need Wood? Body language is the art of flirting

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Do you sit back in amazement at guys who get major action without being drop-dead hot? Charismatic? Maybe. More likely, they know the five tricks for better flirting—not pickup lines.

Hey Mike!
imageI have a friend who’s OK looking–not ugly, not beautiful–yet he gets more ass than a New York Port Authority toilet.

He goes to parties and bars, but he doesn’t go to baths, sex clubs or even pickup joints, so it’s not like he’s having sex with the first one that comes along.

I know that you don’t know him personally, but you must know guys like him. What’s the secret to catching as much trouser trout as they do?
–Want as much

Dear Want as Much:
Aside from the fear of rejection, you probably don’t approach guys because you think you have to have the perfect opening line. You’re wrong. All the research shows that what you say has the least impact on people’s attraction to you.

imageTake a look at what experts say influence first impressions: Attraction comes from 55 percent body language; 38 percent tone, speed and inflection of voice; and only 7 percent what you’re actually saying.

As you can see, 93 percent of the first impression you make is the way you look, walk and stand. So much for “What’s a nice guy like you doing in a place like this.”

So how do you take the conclusions from all this research and apply them so you, too, will need an odometer hooked to your bed? Here are five research-based flirting techniques:

Ocular Triangulation. When we’re with friends or business associates, we look from eye to eye and across the bridge of the nose. With friends, the look moves into a triangle shape: From eye to eye but also down to the nose and mouth.

Once you start flirting, make the triangle bigger, widening at the bottom to include the neck and top of chest.

Do not look at his crotch. You want a blowjob, not a botched job. Also, look more intensely from eye-to-eye and particularly the mouth. It makes guys wonder what it’d be like to kiss you.

Mirroring. Do what they do. If they lean forward to tell you something, lean in to meet them. If they sit back to take a sip of their drink and look you in the eye, pause and do the same.

Why? We like people who are like us. Mirroring him will give the impression you’re on the same level and in the same mood. But be careful. Mirroring doesn’t mean “Aping.” Capture the spirit, not the exact movements. Wait about a moment or a minute to mirror them, depending on the situation.

The eyebrow flash. When we first see someone we’re attracted to, our eyebrows rise and fall. We’re not conscious that we’re doing it because scientists have clocked it at a fifth of a second. You can signal interest to your prey by prolonging the “eyebrow flash” for up to a second.

Point Him Out. You’re probably already doing this subconsciously, but if you’re interested, point your body toward him—torso, feet, legs, and arms. Do it even when you’re not looking at him—it sends a subconscious signal of interest.

Blink, Blink. Pupil size increases when you see someone that makes your pants bulge. So does your blink rate. Try blinking more when you’re talking to him. If he likes you, he’ll unconsciously try to match your blink rate. Remember, interested people subconsciously “mirror” others they’re interested in.

Most experts agree that it takes between two to four minutes to decide if we like someone. Bottom line: Learn how to flirt. Or do what I do—ply them with liquor. It’s a proven thigh-opener.

imageContributing blogger Mike Alvear is an Atlanta-based columnist, author and TV personality. Dating life in the dirt? Download his ebooks, “Attract Hotter Guys with the Secrets & Science of Sexual Body Language,” and “Attract Hotter Guys Online: The Secrets To Making Yourself Irresistible on Gay Dating Sites.” Have a question for Need Wood? Just {encode=”[email protected]” title=”send it in”}.


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