Melissa Carter, whom we lovingly tease with the label “Atlanta’s favorite unemployed lesbian,” isn’t so unemployed these days. Her latest gig comes with a discussion about lesbians and why they don’t get boob jobs.
Carter bared her soul five days a week for a decade on Atlanta radio before retiring earlier this year to a life of quiet reflection and solitude. That lasted for about 10 minutes before the former Q100 personality developed a niche as a Twitter celebrity, opened up as a columnist for the GA Voice, continued her charity work, judged people, made appearances at LGBT events, and because she’s gayer than Mary Norwood, grabbed a seat on the LGBT advisory board for the Atlanta Police Department.
Now, it’s chewing over boob jobs for the Huffington Post. Her first post for the site came on Monday — “Boob jobs: Could lesbians teach the rest of us something?”
I believe the vast majority of these women are giving me planned, politically correct responses to mask the true motivation for the surgery: that guys dig a good rack. These women are simply trying to increase their hotness level among straight guys. What makes me so positive that I am right and that they are lying to themselves when they blame designers and babies for their willingness to go through days of post-surgical pain and risks, including complications that extend to death? It is because in all my years, I have yet to meet a lesbian who has ever gotten a boob job.
Carter then dives into the advantages of being a lesbian.
One of the biggest advantages is being with a partner who truly understands women’s bodies. Breasts come in all shapes and sizes, and a man can never fully fathom the changes that a woman’s body experiences over a lifetime. Two women are always going to relate to the ways each other’s bodies change over time, and this instills a comfort and level of understanding that is hard for a straight couple to ever reach. There is also the reality that lesbians don’t routinely trade our girlfriends in for younger models per se. If two women break up, one of them is just as likely to date someone older as she is to dip into the younger end of the pool. But for straight women, there is a very real message that their man is only going to be truly happy and committed if the woman maintains a certain level of physical perfection. Without being perceived as “beautiful” in the eyes of the male masses, these women seem to lose their sense of worth rapidly.
Melissa Carter on boob jobs. There you go.