Mankinis always a bad choice

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Update | 8:35 a.m. First it was bromance. Now it’s mankini. Oh, those silly straight boys.

English soccer star Wayne Rooney was recently sporting one – and some booty spill over – during his stag party on an island in the Mediterranean Sea. How Rooney went from scruffy hot to not is explained by the addition of a cheap thong.

Friends and his two younger brothers forced Rooney, 22, to wear the thong during the trip after raunchier behavior was banned, according to Deadspin.

Exactly what defines a mankini varies.

The Telegraph:

The ‘mankini’ was introduced by television comedian Sacha Baron Cohen’s character Borat in the 2006 film ‘Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan’.

Urban Dictionary, though, suggests a mankini “is designed for a man, preferably not a chunkier man.” But on its way to dubbing it “the source of my nightmares,” their definition goes downhill, albeit it in an amusing, lowest common denominator sorta way:

A one piece t-back style bathing suit which is supported around the shoulders much like suspenders. Seen on gay friendly beaches all over the world. Only to be worn by the most flaaaaaaayming fags. If you are seen wearing a mankini you are the poster boy for gays……some people might call you faggadocious…….some might even say you are starving a for tube steak smothered in underwear or you are training to suck el-dicko. Everyone will see you as a dung punching ass bandit.

Update | A little more investigation helped determine that the mankini in the top photo is, in fact, not Rooney. He’s the bloke wearing the hat (and shirtless in the photo on the right). That doesn’t make the photo — or mankinis in general — any less disturbing.

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