LGBTQ rebounds, love clusters and sex losers

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Should you worry that you’re moving on too quickly after a breakup? Do you think everybody gets laid more than you? Are the sexual and romantic ties in your friend circle in knots? Welcome to Q Advice.


How long is long enough after a breakup before I get into another relationship? When do I know I’m ready to take the plunge again?

My wife dumped me while I was recovering from a major medical issue. We divorced and sold our house.

So, I met this cute woman, and now I want to take her home to meet mama. I can totally see us getting married. Is it too soon?

Dear Hurry Up:

That’s a lot. First, take a breath. Now, take another. Deeper. There ya go.

Now, just by asking if it’s too soon, you show that something inside may say that, for you, right now definitely feels like Fast & Furious 9.

Love isn’t on a timeline. What’s your hurry?

You’ve heard of rebound relationships, and we know serial monogamy is a longstanding queer epidemic. When you’re caught up in it personally, it may be hard to tell the difference between the real deal and fake news.

Does it feel like a rush job? Do you need to get married again, or want to be with this woman forever? Would it hurt to continue dating to find out? Therein lies your answer.


I thought I was satisfied, but now I’m pretty sure that everybody is having more sex than me. Other gay guys are getting all kinds of laid, and here I sit with my occasional booty call and random hookup.

Dear Always Greener:

The only thing worrying gets you is frustrated. Forget assumptions about, and braggadocio from, other people.

Go back to your initial statement: You were satisfied. Was worrying somehow more appealing than that?


Here’s a queer conundrum for you. I want a guy named Paul, but Paul has the hots for a girl named Sadie and her bisexual partner Noah. And, yep, Noah and Sadie are all about me. Help!

Dear Cluster:

That you’re all friends is a great start. Buy a bottle of wine, call a meeting, and see what happens. The knots can’t get more twisted by applying some honest communication to the situation.

Q Advice is for entertainment, not counseling. Send your burning Qs to [email protected]

Illustration by Brad Gibson.

This column appeared in Q ATLus magazine. Read the full issue here:

Pick up each weekly edition of QATLus at LGBTQ and allied venues around Atlanta, and find fresh content every day right here.


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