If you go out of your way to look like Mr. Perfect in gay dating profiles, new evidence shows that Photoshopped abs and flawless factoids actually get less attention than online profiles that feel authentic.
An ongoing study by University of Iowa researchers shows that people don’t trust too-good-to-be-true profiles. That gorgeous adventurer with a home in Nepal and his own Fortune 500 company who loves laughter isn’t getting as many messages or dates. The most successful offer a sense of who the person behind the profile really is, says study co-author Andy High.
“We found people want to contact a person who appears to be accurate in what they are saying about themselves online,” High says. “You want to balance all that is wonderful about yourself with some things that aren't negative, but more humble or realistic about yourself.”
“It's tough when it comes to dating profiles because we want someone who seems like an amazing person, but we also hopefully will have a relationship with this individual, so we want them to exist.”
Yes, actually existing does sound like a good start. Not to mention those perfectly sculpted bodies, even if real, are more often connected to psychos and selfish assholes. But we digress.
Over-the-top glowing is not cute, but even more significant, your online persona should feel easily verifiable. In short, “keep it real,” researchers say.
That means people want details, not broad generalities, especially about where a prospective love interest works and what he does for a living.
“Instead of just saying, ‘I write a blog,’ name the blog and encourage people to check it out,” High says. “If you work for a company, name the company. … If you can name something or provide people with a link to get there, then do it.
The study is still under peer review, but it rings true. Until the findings are final, don’t scrub your profile clean – muss it up a little with your real self. Or get tattooed. That’s what OKCupid’s founder says about its most popular profiles.
[Iowa Now]
