Go ahead. Get lovey dovey with your honey and hit the Hallmark holiday with all you’ve got on Thursday. Us single gay folks will do our best not to feel shitty about ourselves with options that are way better. Correction. Make that “us bitter single gay folks.” But you knew that already.
So yeah, we’re having a pity party, only with not much pity and a ton of options. You coupled-up bitches can come, but you’re not really invited – and not very creative if you’re crashing our stuff.
In lieu of making googly eyes and buying presents for someone who loves us for who we really are — blah blah blah — here are the variety shows, bar nights, TV shows and hot guys we’d rather do instead.
1. Eat your feelings
Music, food, champagne, more. It’s Las Margaritas’ annual Love Sucks Ball.
2. Invade Laughing Skull … with your host Brent Star
Join Brent Star with Corian Ellisor, Violet Chachki, J. Tyler and Sympony for just $10 at the No Live Animals Variety Show.
3. Shut up and dance
The DKA Crue’s Valentine Throwdown promises “a bloodthirsty ode to the patron-saint of Love. Bodies will confront one another in a ritual charade of dance that leads to a frenzied fever pitch of pleasure.” We’re in.
4. Sing For Your Life
This week’s challenge may be Love Songs & Duets, but we’re ignoring that. Stop crying, single people, or the judges will give you something to cry about.
5. Brandon Rudat
That’s right. We said it. We’d rather do CBS Atlanta’s tattooed gay hunk on Valentine’s or any other day. Come over and “watch TV” with us, Brandon. We’ll do “The Big Bang Theory.” Don’t bring Mayor Reed, though. That’s just wrong.
Everyone can join together in LGBT harmony again on Friday, when the official Singles Awareness Day has safely passed and events in the Gay Agenda of the best gay things to do in Atlanta this weekend kick into gear.
Brent Star photo by Chadwick Smith via Laughing Skull. Sing For Your Life photo by Randall Carpenter. Rudat photos by Sher Pruitt.