Happy Pride! Now don’t get the blowjob cancer

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image As if there’s not enough to worry about for Pride: Finding the perfect t-shirt to show off the new biceps, getting the just-right rainbow accessory for the outfit, creating a dish for Sunday brunch, stocking up on mixer. Now you might get blowjob cancer from that Pride trick(s)? Yep, it’s true. That Mr. Right Now, Pride Edition you’re working over with your mouth might just have HPV on his penis. So go oral with caution. There’s nothing quite like telling your friends at the next cocktailing, “Yeah girl, I got the oropharyngeal cancer from that Pride trick who lives in Chattanooga.” Throat cancers caused by HPV Type 16 are on the rise, researchers said this week. That’s the throat cancer you get by wrapping your mouth around Papi’s lollipop, not the cigarette you smoke after. Researchers say what they’ve found indicates the problem “is becoming a major epidemic.” Don’t fret too much, dick suckers. Chances are you’ve already got HPV floating around in your system – most sexually-active people have it sometime in their life – and it’ll do nothing to your oral sex-loving partner. But do you really want to wonder if that sore throat or constant cough after Pride is the start of something serious? You don’t have a choice. There’s no test to find HPV in men – and the gay ones don’t much care for STD tests, anyway – and there’s no vaccine for guys, either. If you’re really looking for something to worry about, sexually active gay men, there’s always the butt cancer. Another type of HPV causes anal cancer. The gays are 17 times more likely to develop the Big C in the butt than guys who just sleep with women; guys with HIV are more likely than other men to get it, too. Not worried yet? There’s the genital warts and penile cancer HPV can cause, too. Happy Pride!

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