We told you what not to wear, and last year’s list of easy-out costumes still stands. But in the gay universe, showing off that hard-earned body will never go out of style. Take off your shirt, and let’s get down to business.
The fun, probably NSFW and gay celeb-filled – hey, Willam Belli and your “Chow Down on Chick-fil-A” Wilson Phillips sisters! – video above from Andrew Christian Underwear makes it clear. It’s all about the accessories (and little else) when going as Slutty This or Sexy That. You can also go watch the fully uncensored bootylicious, very NSFW version. Yup, that’s Gay Pimp Jonny McGovern‘s “Gayboy Mansion” playing in the background.
You probably won’t win any of gay Atlanta’s 2012 costume contests, but if you have the body for it, no one’s going to be mad at you one bit if you take the easy way out.
Here are your failsafe instructions for How to Dress Like A Slut For Halloween.
1. Decide on a theme.
We hope you’re more original, but go right ahead if you’re set on cop, jock, angel, aviator, or devil.
2. Choose your accessories.
Shoulder pads and a jock strap can basically be your costume, Gridiron Guy. Horns and a tail, badge and handcuffs, bath towel and rubber ducky. You get the picture. And hey, hottie. Don’t forget the shoes.
3. Take off everything else.
Figure out how to cover just enough to keep you legal, and you’re set. A loin cloth or short shorts that match the rest of what you’re wearing are super easy fixes. Consider loose-fitting clothes or a coat to wear over your barely there look between parties.
Viola! You’re a Halloween slut. Congratulations, have a great time, and give everyone an eyeful. We thank you in advance.
One caveat you may have missed as it whizzed by, and it’s a biggie. Just because you put “Sexy” or “Slutty” in front of your desired theme doesn’t make it so. If you don’t have the body for it, don’t give people an excuse to give your costume a new adjective. This means you, Pudgy Policeman and Dowdy Doctor.
And finally, don’t spend all night doing the head nod to your dressed-alike brethren. To help you keep it as original and current as possible, GayNet gives up a few more slutty gay costume ideas. These are our favorites:
Sexy Superfriends
Olympic Heat
Fantasy Boy
Beam me up, Scotty
Semi-closeted Scout Master.