Frontal assault: Levi’s johnson not in Playgirl

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All the hype, all the rumors alongside all the tongue-wagging and promises ultimately didn’t result in Levi Johnston baring the Palin grandbaby maker in his Playgirl shoot. Foul!

According to a report from Gawker reporter Brian Moylan, who basically stalked Levi at the Nov. 11 Fleshbot porn awards ceremony, Johnston’s trainer, who promised the full-frontal shots, literally cock-blocked the idea just before the cameras started clicking.

Says mag rep Daniel Nardicio: “We’re thrilled with the photos we got, and are confident people will love them. Although there may be glimpses, we did not get full on frontal nudity.”


Playgirl did release a teaser from the shoot (top photo), in which Levi is at least facing forward. Maybe it’s another in the mostly online-only magazine’s long history of intriguing—but ultimately underwhelming—underwear shots.

Since it’s a shower scene, maybe the skivvies are soaked and something is showing through. That’s why it’s called a “teaser.” We’re still daydreaming about the final product knowing we won’t get the ultimate reward. Damn them!

Nardicio, who we love pointing out was a gay sex-party planner before his “big break” with Playgirl, must be an ass man. We can appreciate that. And maybe ass-only shots just prove Levi’s a bottom-boy. We can also appreciate that.

imageAh, see? Maybe you shouldn’t go cancel your subscription to just yet. Perhaps seeing the all-talk country boy demurring from the camera all cheeky-like will still be worth it.

Still, we’re disheartened that we won’t get to see the rifle he shoots, especially since he brandishes the other one for paparazzi (bottom photo) on a regular basis.

Playgirl also confirms that its “Levi issue” will include a limited-run print edition. No penis shots may prove less lucrative for that venture, but with all the build-up perhaps they’ll still fly off magazine racks and become instant collectors items.

Truthfully, we never really thought Johnston was a big enough deal to “save” the magazine from collapse. Now it seems maybe he and his trainer didn’t think Levi’s johnson itself was a big enough deal. The world may never know…

And as we wax philosophical on a topic that calls for anything but, we ask the eternal question: If there’s no cock, is it porn? And if not, should Levi give back his jump-the-gun porn award?


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