So it’s your fantasy to be other people’s fantasy on a box or stage. Sounds hot, so with years of, ahem, research at strip clubs and go-go bars, we present our list of must-haves and have nots for budding gay strippers.
Whether stripping it off professionally, for charity, for a contest, for that favorite gay sports team or some only-in-the-gay-universe combo of all of the above, there are a few things to keep in mind from the audience’s point of view. You’ll be generating cash for that worthy cause, coffer or your own bottom line in no time.
But first, let’s get physical. None of our essentials will get you anywhere unless you have a combination of at least two of these four physical traits that are worth a second look: Beauty, basket, butt, body. Three of the four are better, and if you have all four, consider porn. Just one? Get off the box and enjoy the show with the rest of us.
Now to our list of must-haves and have nots:
What personal space?
A low aversion to strangers in your face – and their hands in your crotch and abs and shoulders and butt and legs and in your hair – is a must. Want bigger tips, touch them back. Like all presidential candidates know, nothing says “I’m your man” like a hand on the shoulder or a friendly elbow squeeze.
Show your ass
Not just figuratively (in your willingness to act a fool endearingly, see “attitude” below), but literally. If you have the booty bounty, bounce it baby! Jock straps and g-strings trump underwear every single time.
Every gay man knows the value of accessories. So you’ve got a high-end sense of personal style. Save it for later. A trucker or baseball cap paired with chunky padded high tops (preferably untied) say “I might do anything for money.”
Cocky sells cock, or at least the idea of getting it. But make sure it’s delicately balanced with eager friendliness. Too self-assured, and you’re sunk. And go a little crazy with your free-spiritedness and lack of self-consciousness. Don’t be afraid to goof off and throw caution to the wind.
Keep your opinions to yourself
When it comes to making bank, it’s smart to play a little dumb. Nobody likes a doofus, but even if you’re working on your masters and could read that tipper like a book, don’t let on. Let their fantasies supply the thoughts they assume are in your pretty little head. It’s hotter to imagine that you only have one thing on your dirty, dirty mind.