Don’t help your gay friend beat up the ex

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Getting into a bitch-slapping brawl with your boyfriend is bad enough, but at least there's the chance of makeup sex. When the ex breaks in to smack you around and steal your stuff, though, there's little chance of reconciliation. That's the situation faced by a 26-year-old lesbian who was enjoying a Friday afternoon in her southwest Atlanta apartment when in burst her ex girlfriend and a trio of stooges. (When you split with the partner, get the keys to the palace. Better yet, change the locks. You never want them back inside.) So the 20-year-old ex ran upstairs, found her former honey and started swinging. She landed some blows and left the startled homeowner with a fat lip. Then the lesbian with anger management issues fled downstairs with the assaulted (and jilted) ex following her. What did she find? One of the ex's stooges on the steps and two standing in the doorway. Turns out that the younger ex smacking the older one around provided cover for the stooges, who rummaged through her stuff during the beat down. One of the ex's friends took two cellphones, smashing one for good measure, before they left. They always leave before the cops arrive. Well, mostly. This item is taken from an incident report filed with the Atlanta Police Department.

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