Chick-fil-A and its recently regretful CEO wants to soothe the gays and make the rest of America skinnier with its new, healthier offerings. But don't they know that skinny equals gay?
That's the take from lesbian writer Sally Kohn, who offers a humorous (and smart) takedown of the Atlanta-based chicken giant on the occasion of it overtaking rival KFC, putting new grilled options on its menu and trying to temper the anti-gay musings of CEO Dan Cathy.
From her Chick-fil-A is like gay sex: Don't knock it till you try it:
Of course the irony here is that if Chick-fil-A makes its food less un-healthy, that’s bad news for the anti-gay agenda, since we all know that obesity increases heterosexuality. I can’t prove that with data or anything but just think about it for a second, it makes sense. When you’re svelter you feel more sexy and so suddenly you start exploring your options and you’re more likely to add a whole other half of the population to that exploration! Why not? You look so damn good in those mom jeans now. Plus if you know any gay men, you know exactly what I mean. They’re some mighty judge-y chickens.
Conservatives like to claim that Chick-fil-A's rise to the top of the greasy chicken coop is a result of it bending to their anti-gay world view, Kohn argues. It's not.
I would like to take this opportunity to remind conservatives that the previous reigning champion in the “largest chicken chain” contest was fronted by a “Colonel” who appeared to turn to cooking chickens after his unfortunate defeat in the War of Northern Aggression so… It’s distinctly possible that all “large chicken chains” trade in a brand of white, Southern-fried conservativism in which the only diversity embraced is in the secret spice mix. I’m just speculating here, though doing so sincerely.
It could also be the result of Americans liking the newest thing the best. Which gets back to why Chick-fil-A follows the reasoning that – to paraphrase the words of cherubic scholar Honey Boo Boo – “everybody's a little gay.”
KFC is old and not expanding. Chick-fil-A is newer and coming to a town near you. We Americans like to try new things. Like gay sex, which is also rising in popularity. Variety, as they say, is the spice of life. And it’s not just a recipe for chicken.
