Q Advice

‘I think my straight boss is gaslighting me because I’m queer’

What's the best approach for a queer, glitter-forward professional to take when their boss routinely says "I have no idea what you are talking about”?

Queers who offer an explanation when they owe an apology

It's hard to say you're sorry, but if your version of apologizing doesn't include the actual words, save it. Now serving proper form for apologies and forgiveness in The Q advice column.

Insta couples, fisting and minding your own damn business

The guy is lying to his boyfriend and followers, maybe even himself. Do you think he’s suddenly being honest with a stranger on the internet?

Stay home, yes even if you’re bored, horny and at ‘low risk’

I heard Midtown is Gay Ground Zero for coronavirus, but all my friends are still cruising and hooking up. How worried should I really be?

Attention queers who jump to conclusions: It’s not all about you

Furious that your date had to cancel? Your significant other is taking you for granted? You’re just plain new to love? Well, maybe it - gasp! - has nothing to do with you.

I love you, goodbye: How to break up with someone you love

We've been together 28 years, and it needs to end. It’s hard to imagine life without them, but it's time to figure out, "I love you. Goodbye."

Can he find just one other gay man who isn’t garbage?

Whether gay, straight, trans and/or bisexual, every woman in my life is reliable, emotionally available, and most of all, trustworthy. I call them my Pussy Posse.

Speak Up: How to ask for and get what you want in bed

"Please help me tell tops that a little foreplay goes a long way? I’m not saying it should be all my way, but it shouldn’t be their way or the highway either."

‘Daddy’ not Dad: Sick of assumptions that I’m my boyfriend’s father

Adding him to my life has been a blessing, but while I expected some people wouldn’t understand, I didn't predict the constant shaming.

Oops! My neo-lib parents are totally racist

They accepted you being gay, but when you bring home a Latinx boyfriend, parents hit a snag as privileges and prejudices get tested.

You’re Canceled: The useless conceit of queer call-out culture

I did a bad thing. It was wrong and ugly, and the public fallout was messy. I was put on blast, and it spiraled before an audience hungry for blood.

Dating your way through the Queer Law of Least Attraction

It can feel like there’s an unwritten law that the people we are attracted to are somehow the least likely to be the ones attracted to us, and vice versa.

Are you a Sugar Mama/Daddy, or just unfairly supporting your partner?

Being a Sugar Baby is fine if both sides consent to the arrangement. If it's not what you agreed, it’s not only fair to bring it up, but well advised to do so.

Queers beating ourselves up over those ‘other’ STDs that aren’t HIV

"I tested positive for HSV-2. Two weeks later, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. There’s so much emphasis on HIV that when I started PrEP, it created a false sense of security."

‘Help! I’m the jealous type and in love with a sex worker’

The Q turned to sex industry professionals, advocates and our readers for the advice column this week, and we share their insights in lieu of our usual responses.

Grindr, sexual racism, and the problem with ‘preference’

'I don’t appreciate being called a racist when I have “a type,” just like so many other people when it comes to sex and relationships.' OK, let's unpack.

Um, I think my date just bailed without saying goodbye

"Some 90 minutes and several questions from friends about his absence later, I got a return text, “I’m fine.” “I went home.” What the hell?"

Ghosting, shaming and being mean when they’re not that into you

The distance and anonymity of urban life make it easier to dehumanize each other in every situation, but it hurts even more when it's part of dating.

Angry gay man judges ‘Manboys’ and everyone but himself

Recently, our advice column suggested 'Manboy' stop policing friends and work on himself. We struck a nerve with a reader showing 10 times the affliction.

Playing high-low when ‘not in the mood’ meets ‘just gotta have it’

Barring a few important caveats, here's how couples with perpetually mismatched libidos can be patient, communicate, try and try again — together — so that everybody wins.
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