Q Advice

LGBTQ fears of kink leave feelings of ‘crazy and afraid’

The thrill of the chase often gets old as you do, and freezing your desires for the sake of others does too. Time to overcome preconceptions so you can move forward.

Generation Gaps: Coming out at 15, 35 or 55

Q: I’m 15, out and unhappy. My mom is cool with me being gay, but she’d rather talk about me finishing school and getting a...

My ex still threatens, harasses and gossips about me

Q: At first of course, my ex’s charm was awesome. Well, all that glitters in this queer world isn't gold... or hell even brass for...

Running scared from that other ‘L’ Word: Love

Q: My girlfriend is getting too close for comfort. She says my past heartbreaks are obstacles to me feeling the same way about her as...

Ghosting, shaming and being mean when you’re just not that into it

Q: I had sex with this boy, and it was fine. With booze and whatever other circumstances, I was attracted to him in the moment,...

‘Mutual abuse’ and 16 signs that your relationship is toxic

An alarming statistic out this month sets domestic violence between same-sex couples — both male and female — apart from straight couples. More than...

Um, I think my date just bailed without saying goodbye

"Some 90 minutes and several questions from friends about his absence later, I got a return text, “I’m fine.” Then another “I went home.”...

Red flag: When declining sex reveals his fragile gay ego

"He said I sent mixed signals, and that he doesn’t have time for games — all because I didn’t drop everything and drop my...

Sorry. Your #Instacrush doesn’t want to date you

"Sometimes I feel like he’s a messy flirt, starved for attention. Other times, he might not respond at all, then I wonder if maybe he’s the strong silent type that I actually need."

You are who you need: LGBTQ self-care in the age of COVID

"I’m losing it. I did OK for a few months in quarantine, but now I’m falling apart. Lockdown was fun at first, a challenge after that, and well, now I need help."

Both husbands put on pounds, but only one wants to change

I have struggled with my weight for years, and so has my husband. I'm trying to mitigate that with diet and exercise, but he isn't.

Help! I’m old, poz, in recovery and depressed

Throughout my 20s and much of my 30s, I deluded myself that Mr. Right was just around the corner. Nearly 40 now, I’m lonely and haven’t dated in a while. It's a party for one.

Help! Older man isn’t my daddy and shouldn’t treat me as his sub

If your older boyfriend wants to make you his prince and you're not the one, or a so-called ‘friend’ chokes on his own HIV...

Karens, rightful protests and losing the ‘buts’ in Black Lives Matter

Q: I keep running into resistance when I say police mistreatment of black people is upsetting, but that riots are wrong and have to stop....

Help! My stepdad married a man just six months after Mom died

Q: My mom died a year ago, and it’s been unimaginably hard on my siblings, half-siblings and myself. Then my stepfather made it even harder:...

Why we are still talking about blackface in Atlanta in 2020

Q: My friend has a history of bad decisions, and I admit up front that parenting him is my go-to move. Recently, he mysteriously started...

‘I think my straight boss is gaslighting me because I’m queer’

Q: What's the best approach for a queer, glitter-forward professional to take when their boss routinely responds to inquiries with "I have no idea what...

‘I think my straight boss is gaslighting me because I’m queer’

What's the best approach for a queer, glitter-forward professional to take when their boss routinely says "I have no idea what you are talking about”?

Queers who offer an explanation when they owe an apology

It's hard to say you're sorry, but if your version of apologizing doesn't include the actual words, save it. Now serving proper form for apologies and forgiveness in The Q advice column.

Insta couples, fisting and minding your own damn business

The guy is lying to his boyfriend and followers, maybe even himself. Do you think he’s suddenly being honest with a stranger on the internet?
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