Full disclosure can be the right thing to do, but knowing the right timing and reasons to be upfront is trickier. Coming out gay, trans or poz in The Q advice column.
'I’m a pocket queer. Almost everything I can do for myself, of course, and I get insulted when others assume I’m helpless.' What he can and can't do in this week's advice column.
"We click on every level but that one. I’ve bottomed a couple times, but when I bring up reciprocation, we argue. When I’m not willing, it’s like a sword fight down there."
"We’ve both lashed out unfairly, even cruelly, at each other. We aim to wound instead of heal. When I’m not afraid of my partner flying off the handle, I’m worried I’ve created the same fear."
When a friend’s possible drug use moves past indulgence and into excess, you may have a party monster on your hands, but you also have expectations and obligations to sort.
People have sex for all kinds of reasons, and you could get something out of bad encounters that excites your subconscious even as it sabotages your conscious well-being.
Sometimes you think a friend needs saving via your passive aggressive posts. Sometimes you think callout culture will change hearts and minds. Here's why they don't work.
Navigating the 'gay hug' gets tricky when you're culturally tuned into lots of personal space with friends. It gets really tricky when your boo doesn't have that affliction.
Did she just pull a bait and switch? Is this idiot “negging” me? What did they mean by this comment or that? Is this a date or an interview? Is there such a thing as a wrong answer?
Liberal guilt is a double-edged sword in the wrong hands. A mind toward equality and away from privilege is one thing. A misguided need to prove our woke-ness is entirely different.
When it becomes a habit to lean on those who can’t do anything but empathize, you’re mischaracterizing their responsibility in your relationship. You’re not asking for help. You’re just listing your grievances.
Breaking up is hard to do, and every split feels like the worst one, ever. A look at what you can do, and what you should avoid, as The Q tries to apply some solutions as salve.
Why are my fellow queers intent on setting me up with crazies and freaks – sorry, but these people are actually crazy and weird, they just are – who would never make a match for me.
The thrill of office-party hookups, interoffice flirting and longterm secret affairs between coworkers is gone when the jig is up, or the participants realize they don't see eye to eye on what's happening.
Leaving affections in the past, or forgetting them as never-were, isn't as easy as for some people as others. Whether it's your a-hole ex or your unrequited love, it's time to let it go.
Fit to fat? Bad romance? D-I-V-O-R-C-E? Ask the Q why self respect and integrity are the keys to common problems queers often face without a solid foundation to make the right call.
