Q Advice

Sorry. Your #Instacrush doesn’t want to date you

"Sometimes I feel like he’s a messy flirt, starved for attention. Other times, he might not respond at all, then I wonder if maybe he’s the strong silent type that I actually need."

You are who you need: LGBTQ self-care in the age of COVID

"I’m losing it. I did OK for a few months in quarantine, but now I’m falling apart. Lockdown was fun at first, a challenge after that, and well, now I need help."

Both husbands put on pounds, but only one wants to change

I have struggled with my weight for years, and so has my husband. I'm trying to mitigate that with diet and exercise, but he isn't.

Help! I’m old, poz, in recovery and depressed

Throughout my 20s and much of my 30s, I deluded myself that Mr. Right was just around the corner. Nearly 40 now, I’m lonely and haven’t dated in a while. It's a party for one.

Help! Older man isn’t my daddy and shouldn’t treat me as his sub

If your older boyfriend wants to make you his prince and you're not the one, or a so-called ‘friend’ chokes on his own HIV...

Karens, rightful protests and losing the ‘buts’ in Black Lives Matter

Q: I keep running into resistance when I say police mistreatment of black people is upsetting, but that riots are wrong and have to stop....

Help! My stepdad married a man just six months after Mom died

Q: My mom died a year ago, and it’s been unimaginably hard on my siblings, half-siblings and myself. Then my stepfather made it even harder:...

Why we are still talking about blackface in Atlanta in 2020

Q: My friend has a history of bad decisions, and I admit up front that parenting him is my go-to move. Recently, he mysteriously started...

‘I think my straight boss is gaslighting me because I’m queer’

Q: What's the best approach for a queer, glitter-forward professional to take when their boss routinely responds to inquiries with "I have no idea what...

‘I think my straight boss is gaslighting me because I’m queer’

What's the best approach for a queer, glitter-forward professional to take when their boss routinely says "I have no idea what you are talking about”?

Queers who offer an explanation when they owe an apology

It's hard to say you're sorry, but if your version of apologizing doesn't include the actual words, save it. Now serving proper form for apologies and forgiveness in The Q advice column.

Insta couples, fisting and minding your own damn business

The guy is lying to his boyfriend and followers, maybe even himself. Do you think he’s suddenly being honest with a stranger on the internet?

Stay home, yes even if you’re bored, horny and at ‘low risk’

I heard Midtown is Gay Ground Zero for coronavirus, but all my friends are still cruising and hooking up. How worried should I really be?

Stuck together and sticking it out in a quarantined uncuffing season

We joked all winter that we met during cuffing season, and that cuddling through cold nights would be nice only while they lasted. Well, spring is here.

Attention queers who jump to conclusions: It’s not all about you

Furious that your date had to cancel? Your significant other is taking you for granted? You’re just plain new to love? Well, maybe it - gasp! - has nothing to do with you.

Despicable Me: Queer shame and forgiving our past selves

"I’ve come a long way, but I still wake up thinking that I’m on a park bench, under an overpass, or naked in a stranger’s bed. There's a shame that I can’t shake even when fully awake."

I love you, goodbye: How to break up with someone you love

We've been together 28 years, and it needs to end. It’s hard to imagine life without them, but it's time to figure out, "I love you. Goodbye."

Cheater, Cheater: Why am I only attracted to married people?

I was hurt deeply and played thoroughly, so keeping relationships casual feels right for me, but most singles really want the ever-after. I don't.

Can he find just one other gay man who isn’t garbage?

Whether gay, straight, trans and/or bisexual, every woman in my life is reliable, emotionally available, and most of all, trustworthy. I call them my Pussy Posse.

Speak Up: How to ask for and get what you want in bed

"Please help me tell tops that a little foreplay goes a long way? I’m not saying it should be all my way, but it shouldn’t be their way or the highway either."
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