Q Advice

We’re here, we’re queer, we’re conquering our fears

Don't feed the fears, queers, The Q offers advice this week on facing the unknown, from your secret fetish fantasies to relationship commitment issues to your mind-numbingly boring rut.

Help! My hus-bear is a control freak and I have PTSD

Whether it’s a passive-aggressively abusive partner or a "mean-girl" friend who's just a bully, you deserve better. Here are some steps for freeing yourself from toxic relationships.

You’re not the control freak’s husband, you’re his pet

If you find yourself always doing what they want with no reciprocation or compromise for what you want, ever, you're not their partner. You're their pet. Here are some suggestions.

Longterm love, short-term disagreements and queer life passing you by

Whether it's longterm love, short term disagreements or queer life passing you by in the closet, everyone encounters moments when what they thought was, well, thought wrong. The Q offers advice.

Sorry but your #Instacrush probably doesn’t want to date you

"Sometimes I feel like he’s a messy flirt, starved for attention. Other times, he might not respond at all, then I wonder if maybe he’s the strong silent type that I actually need."

Despicable Me: Forgiving our own sordid pasts

"I’ve come a long way, but I still wake up thinking that I’m on a park bench, under an overpass, or naked in a stranger’s bed. There's a shame that I can’t shake even when fully awake."

One Atlanta couple’s really homophobic totally racist very bad day

'A white guy we don't know “borrowed” my sunglasses and called himself the N-word in front of my black husband. Et tu, Homo? Then things got worse.'

That’s methed up: Is friend back on drugs, or just annoyingly perky?

Friends hid a meth addiction until they were found out. They're supposedly in recovery, but they're still all over the place. How can you be sure?

Pandemic leaves boyfriends ‘stuck together and sticking it out’

We joked all winter that we met during cuffing season, and that cuddling through cold nights would be nice only while they lasted. Well, spring is here.

He’s just out of the closet. Is it a relationship deal breaker?

Tapping divergence as fuel, but knowing when discordant relationships are a good challenge to have, and when your differences are actually dealbreakers worth considering.

Declining sex reveals Atlanta’s worst pool party lush

"He said I sent mixed signals, and that he doesn’t have time for games — all because I didn’t drop everything and drop my panties."

‘Can I say no to marriage to save the relationship?’

Marriage equality presents the option to legally wed, not a requirement. Instead of forcing it, people are realizing it's not an all-or-nothing proposition.

When the hard truth is the hardest possible option

Q: There I am, minding my own business at a work party, when the sketchiest of sketchy queens at our office heads toward me. He...

Addicted to love: the high cost of obsession

Sweet fulfillment can get replaced by intense loneliness. When he’s not here, I want him so bad it hurts. When he is, we can be miserable.

Red flags, bad dates and help for perpetually poor choices

All seemed well until the guy started withdrawing a bit, saying he was sure he had gotten herpes and could “feel the disease in his body.” It was seriously kinda crazy.

Manboys, midlife and friends stuck in a queer culture loop

"I’m not sure when I graduated from innuendo t-shirts, gold booty shorts and Mickey Mouse ears when not at Disney World, but I did."

You’re not that busy: What your constant hurry really means

No one is busier than anyone else. We all have the same 24 hours and pack them with priorities. Your "busyness" reads as overextended and self-important.

Touch myself: Pleasuring our way past sexual hang-ups

"I love sex. Show me a person, and right or wrong, I decide within milliseconds what they look like naked, whether or not I’d do them, and how it would be if I did."

Controlling queens who stage-direct how others act

And, scene! The holidays, the boo and the friends may be a recipe for disaster, but getting people to act like someone they're not won't ever work.

Gay Republicans, mean girls and queers who want to change them

The Q advice column digs into two situations that illustrate just two ways that changing others is not only impossible but also not our job, and why we can't save everybody.