We love a good
diva and that’s why we can’t stop talking about Kim Zolciak, the blond bombshell from “The Real Housewives of Atlanta.” The season ended Thursday, but it’s like the gift that keeps giving.
Or an STD you can’t shake.
Either way, Zolciak and the ladies who lunch for reality TV have brought us great memories of the wig-pulling variety this season. And Zolciak, well she’s as beloved by the gays in Atlanta as NeNe Leakes. We’re not sure why—for either one—but it’s true.
And admit it. When Zolciak’s “Tardy for the Party” plays, you kinda get into the rhythm, don’t you? It’s on your iPod and you secretly play it while working it at the gym. We know.
But back to those gifts that keep on giving. Not the one you picked up at the gym sauna. We’re speaking of Zolciak and her live singing of “Tardy” during part two of the “Housewives” reunion on Thursday. It was awful and we have the video to prove it. Tone deaf is putting it mildly.
Not surprisingly, “Tardy” has spawned plenty of spoofs. One of our favorites includes this line: “I farted at your party and then pee-peed in your potty.”
But the best riff on “Tardy” comes from J. Anthony Brown, who brings his ability to murder the hits to Zolciak’s song. “We took an already gay song and we made it gayer. Hope you like it Atlanta,” he says as his version opens.
Brown then offers variations on the song’s chorus, “Don’t be tardy for the party”:
“Don’t impair the affair.”
“Don’t be unpunctual for the function.”
“Don’t be on colored time, it’s the other time.”
“Don’t be on hood time for the good time.”
And our favorite, now our personal motto: “Don’t be last for that ass.”