Category:  The Q

Grindr, sexual racism, and the problem with ‘preference’

Grindr, sexual racism, and the problem with ‘preference’

'I don’t appreciate being called a racist when I have “a type,” just like so many other people when it comes to sex and relationships.' OK, let's unpack.    READ MORE »

Monster in Law wants queer couple to act ‘less gay’

Monster in Law wants queer couple to act ‘less gay’

As their lives and their roles in yours change, it's time to find a new normal with the people who raised you or your spouse.    READ MORE »

One Atlanta couple’s really homophobic totally racist very bad Stonewall March

One Atlanta couple’s really homophobic totally racist very bad Stonewall March

'A white guy we don't know “borrowed” my sunglasses and called himself the N-word in front of my black husband. Et tu, Homo? Then things got worse.'    READ MORE »

Um, I think my date just bailed without saying goodbye

Um, I think my date just bailed without saying goodbye

"Some 90 minutes and several questions from friends about his absence later, I got a return text, “I’m fine.” “I went home.” What the hell?"    READ MORE »

Both husbands put on pounds, but only one wants to change

Both husbands put on pounds, but only one wants to change

I have struggled with my weight for years, and so has my husband. I'm trying to mitigate that with diet and exercise, but he isn't.    READ MORE »

Ghosting, shaming and being mean when they’re not that into you

Ghosting, shaming and being mean when they’re not that into you

The distance and anonymity of urban life make it easier to dehumanize each other in every situation, but it hurts even more when it's part of dating.    READ MORE »

For LGBTQs in love, one size almost never fits all

For LGBTQs in love, one size almost never fits all

Marriage equality presents the option to legally wed, not a requirement. Instead of forcing it, people are realizing it's not an all-or-nothing proposition.    READ MORE »

Angry gay man judges ‘Manboys’ and everyone but himself

Angry gay man judges ‘Manboys’ and everyone but himself

Recently, our advice column suggested 'Manboy' stop policing friends and work on himself. We struck a nerve with a reader showing 10 times the affliction.    READ MORE »

When you’re two tops in love trying to win a sword fight

When you’re two tops in love trying to win a sword fight

"We click on every level but that one. I’ve bottomed a couple times, but when I bring up reciprocation, we argue. When I’m not willing, it’s like a sword fight down there."    READ MORE »

Playing high-low when ‘not in the mood’ meets ‘just gotta have it’

Playing high-low when ‘not in the mood’ meets ‘just gotta have it’

Barring a few important caveats, here's how couples with perpetually mismatched libidos can be patient, communicate, try and try again — together — so that everybody wins.    READ MORE »

What if I’m not ‘Kinsey 6 Gold Plated Gay-Gay’ any more?

What if I’m not ‘Kinsey 6 Gold Plated Gay-Gay’ any more?

Does sex with a trans man remove my coveted 'gay' rating, and if so, am I not certified 'Gold' any more? And since everyone is getting married, should we?    READ MORE »

When you grow up but your friends are stuck in a queer culture loop

When you grow up but your friends are stuck in a queer culture loop

"I’m not sure when I graduated from innuendo t-shirts, gold booty shorts and Mickey Mouse ears when not at Disney World, but I did."    READ MORE »

My ex drained me dry, and now he’s everywhere I go

My ex drained me dry, and now he’s everywhere I go

'My friends are the only thing I have after all the trauma I’ve been through, so I can’t drop them despite his proximity to them when I go out. Avoiding him is impossible. I'm so triggered.'    READ MORE »

Vanity Philanthropy: When contributions are all about you

Vanity Philanthropy: When contributions are all about you

Doing good is not nearly as sweet if donations and fundraisers are all about the organizers rather than the beneficiaries they're out to help.    READ MORE »

When your dating and hookups feel like a long line of really bad choices

When your dating and hookups feel like a long line of really bad choices

People have sex for all kinds of reasons, and you could get something out of bad encounters that excites your subconscious even as it sabotages your conscious well-being.    READ MORE »

Red flags, bad dates and help for perpetually poor choices

Red flags, bad dates and help for perpetually poor choices

All seemed well until the guy started withdrawing a bit, saying he was sure he had gotten herpes and could “feel the disease in his body.” It was seriously kinda crazy.    READ MORE »

Insta couples, fisting and minding my own business

Insta couples, fisting and minding my own business

The guy is lying to his boyfriend and followers, maybe even himself. Do you think he’s suddenly being honest with a stranger on the internet?    READ MORE »

Queers who offer an explanation when they owe an apology

Queers who offer an explanation when they owe an apology

It's hard to say you're sorry, but if your version of apologizing doesn't include the actual words, save it. Now serving proper form for apologies and forgiveness in The Q advice column.    READ MORE »

The first clue was when his cheating husband told him to ‘man up’

The first clue was when his cheating husband told him to ‘man up’

Ever worry you're being basic, stupid or just blind? It's a common challenge, but not necessarily because of the reasons we think.    READ MORE »

Even the best unsolicited advice is still best kept to yourself

Even the best unsolicited advice is still best kept to yourself

One friend never fails to try and fix other people's problems. Another closest friend is believed to be either bipolar or on the spectrum. Here's to well meaning friends who think they're "helping."    READ MORE »

 
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