Category:  q advice

Both husbands put on pounds, but only one wants to change

Both husbands put on pounds, but only one wants to change

I have struggled with my weight for years, and so has my husband. I'm trying to mitigate that with diet and exercise, but he isn't.    READ MORE »

Help! I’m old, poz, in recovery and depressed

Help! I’m old, poz, in recovery and depressed

Throughout my 20s and much of my 30s, I deluded myself that Mr. Right was just around the corner. Nearly 40 now, I’m lonely and haven’t dated in a while. It's a party for one.    READ MORE »

Help! Older man isn’t my daddy and shouldn’t treat me as his sub

Help! Older man isn’t my daddy and shouldn’t treat me as his sub

If your older boyfriend wants to make you his prince and you're not the one, or a ‘friend’ chokes on his own HIV stigma, it's time to reach out for help in this week's Q Advice.    READ MORE »

Is the queer left ‘shoulding’ each other into oblivion?

Is the queer left ‘shoulding’ each other into oblivion?

Liberal guilt is a double-edged sword in the wrong hands. A mind toward equality and away from privilege is one thing. A misguided need to prove our woke-ness is entirely different.    READ MORE »

Karens, rightful protests and losing the ‘buts’ in Black Lives Matter

Karens, rightful protests and losing the ‘buts’ in Black Lives Matter

You said “police mistreatment of black people is upsetting, but riots have to stop.” What if it was, “Riots are upsetting, but police mistreatment of black people has to stop.”    READ MORE »

Help! My stepdad married a man just six months after Mom died

Help! My stepdad married a man just six months after Mom died

My mom died a year ago, and it’s been hard on my siblings, half-siblings and myself. It was made even harder by my stepfather, who decided right after her death to remarry — this time to a man.    READ MORE »

Why we are still talking about blackface in Atlanta in 2020

Why we are still talking about blackface in Atlanta in 2020

I did what any good Judy would do: Google the F out of this new guy. I found disappointing background, slapdash work history and a photograph of himself in blackface.    READ MORE »

‘I think my straight boss is gaslighting me because I’m queer’

‘I think my straight boss is gaslighting me because I’m queer’

What's the best approach for a queer, glitter-forward professional to take when their boss routinely responds to inquiries with "I have no idea what you are talking about”?    READ MORE »

Queers who offer an explanation when they owe an apology

Queers who offer an explanation when they owe an apology

It's hard to say you're sorry, but if your version of apologizing doesn't include the actual words, save it. Now serving proper form for apologies and forgiveness in The Q advice column.    READ MORE »

Insta couples, fisting and minding your own damn business

Insta couples, fisting and minding your own damn business

The guy is lying to his boyfriend and followers, maybe even himself. Do you think he’s suddenly being honest with a stranger on the internet?    READ MORE »

Stay home, yes even if you’re bored, horny and at ‘low risk’

Stay home, yes even if you’re bored, horny and at ‘low risk’

I heard Midtown is Gay Ground Zero for coronavirus, but all my friends are still cruising and hooking up. How worried should I really be?    READ MORE »

Stuck together and sticking it out in a quarantined uncuffing season

Stuck together and sticking it out in a quarantined uncuffing season

We joked all winter that we met during cuffing season, and that cuddling through cold nights would be nice only while they lasted. Well, spring is here.    READ MORE »

Attention queers who jump to conclusions: It’s not all about you

Attention queers who jump to conclusions: It’s not all about you

Furious that your date had to cancel? Your significant other is taking you for granted? You’re just plain new to love? Well, maybe it - gasp! - has nothing to do with you.    READ MORE »

Despicable Me: Queer shame and forgiving our past selves

Despicable Me: Queer shame and forgiving our past selves

"I’ve come a long way, but I still wake up thinking that I’m on a park bench, under an overpass, or naked in a stranger’s bed. There's a shame that I can’t shake even when fully awake."    READ MORE »

I love you, goodbye: How to break up with someone you love

I love you, goodbye: How to break up with someone you love

We've been together 28 years, and it needs to end. It’s hard to imagine life without them, but it's time to figure out, "I love you. Goodbye."    READ MORE »

Cheater, Cheater: Why am I only attracted to married people?

Cheater, Cheater: Why am I only attracted to married people?

I was hurt deeply and played thoroughly, so keeping relationships casual feels right for me, but most singles really want the ever-after. I don't.    READ MORE »

Can he find just one other gay man who isn’t garbage?

Can he find just one other gay man who isn’t garbage?

Whether gay, straight, trans and/or bisexual, every woman in my life is reliable, emotionally available, and most of all, trustworthy. I call them my Pussy Posse.    READ MORE »

Speak Up: How to ask for and get what you want in bed

Speak Up: How to ask for and get what you want in bed

"Please help me tell tops that a little foreplay goes a long way? I’m not saying it should be all my way, but it shouldn’t be their way or the highway either."    READ MORE »

All methed up: Is my friend back on drugs, or like, annoyingly perky?

All methed up: Is my friend back on drugs, or like, annoyingly perky?

Friends hid a meth addiction until they were found out. They're supposedly in recovery, but they're still all over the place. How can you be sure?    READ MORE »

‘Daddy’ not Dad: Sick of assumptions that I’m my boyfriend’s father

‘Daddy’ not Dad: Sick of assumptions that I’m my boyfriend’s father

Adding him to my life has been a blessing, but while I expected some people wouldn’t understand, I didn't predict the constant shaming.    READ MORE »

 
MORE POSTS