Category:  q advice

‘I think my straight boss is gaslighting me because I’m queer’

‘I think my straight boss is gaslighting me because I’m queer’

What's the best approach for a queer, glitter-forward professional to take when their boss routinely says "I have no idea what you are talking about”?    READ MORE »

Queers who offer an explanation when they owe an apology

Queers who offer an explanation when they owe an apology

It's hard to say you're sorry, but if your version of apologizing doesn't include the actual words, save it. Now serving proper form for apologies and forgiveness in The Q advice column.    READ MORE »

Insta couples, fisting and minding your own damn business

Insta couples, fisting and minding your own damn business

The guy is lying to his boyfriend and followers, maybe even himself. Do you think he’s suddenly being honest with a stranger on the internet?    READ MORE »

Stay home, yes even if you’re bored, horny and at ‘low risk’

Stay home, yes even if you’re bored, horny and at ‘low risk’

I heard Midtown is Gay Ground Zero for coronavirus, but all my friends are still cruising and hooking up. How worried should I really be?    READ MORE »

Stuck together and sticking it out in a quarantined uncuffing season

Stuck together and sticking it out in a quarantined uncuffing season

We joked all winter that we met during cuffing season, and that cuddling through cold nights would be nice only while they lasted. Well, spring is here.    READ MORE »

Attention queers who jump to conclusions: It’s not all about you

Attention queers who jump to conclusions: It’s not all about you

Furious that your date had to cancel? Your significant other is taking you for granted? You’re just plain new to love? Well, maybe it - gasp! - has nothing to do with you.    READ MORE »

Despicable Me: Queer shame and forgiving our past selves

Despicable Me: Queer shame and forgiving our past selves

"I’ve come a long way, but I still wake up thinking that I’m on a park bench, under an overpass, or naked in a stranger’s bed. There's a shame that I can’t shake even when fully awake."    READ MORE »

I love you, goodbye: How to break up with someone you love

I love you, goodbye: How to break up with someone you love

We've been together 28 years, and it needs to end. It’s hard to imagine life without them, but it's time to figure out, "I love you. Goodbye."    READ MORE »

Cheater, Cheater: Why am I only attracted to married people?

Cheater, Cheater: Why am I only attracted to married people?

I was hurt deeply and played thoroughly, so keeping relationships casual feels right for me, but most singles really want the ever-after. I don't.    READ MORE »

Can he find just one other gay man who isn’t garbage?

Can he find just one other gay man who isn’t garbage?

Whether gay, straight, trans and/or bisexual, every woman in my life is reliable, emotionally available, and most of all, trustworthy. I call them my Pussy Posse.    READ MORE »

Speak Up: How to ask for and get what you want in bed

Speak Up: How to ask for and get what you want in bed

"Please help me tell tops that a little foreplay goes a long way? I’m not saying it should be all my way, but it shouldn’t be their way or the highway either."    READ MORE »

All methed up: Is my friend back on drugs, or like, annoyingly perky?

All methed up: Is my friend back on drugs, or like, annoyingly perky?

Friends hid a meth addiction until they were found out. They're supposedly in recovery, but they're still all over the place. How can you be sure?    READ MORE »

‘Daddy’ not Dad: Sick of assumptions that I’m my boyfriend’s father

‘Daddy’ not Dad: Sick of assumptions that I’m my boyfriend’s father

Adding him to my life has been a blessing, but while I expected some people wouldn’t understand, I didn't predict the constant shaming.    READ MORE »

Oops! My neo-lib parents are totally racist

Oops! My neo-lib parents are totally racist

They accepted you being gay, but when you bring home a Latinx boyfriend, parents hit a snag as privileges and prejudices get tested.    READ MORE »

You’re Canceled: The useless conceit of queer call-out culture

You’re Canceled: The useless conceit of queer call-out culture

I did a bad thing. It was wrong and ugly, and the public fallout was messy. I was put on blast, and it spiraled before an audience hungry for blood.    READ MORE »

Dating your way through the Queer Law of Least Attraction

Dating your way through the Queer Law of Least Attraction

It can feel like there’s an unwritten law that the people we are attracted to are somehow the least likely to be the ones attracted to us, and vice versa.    READ MORE »

Addicted to Love: The high cost of navigating love vs. obsession

Addicted to Love: The high cost of navigating love vs. obsession

Sweet fulfillment can get replaced by intense loneliness. When he’s not here, I want him so bad it hurts. When he is, we can be miserable.    READ MORE »

Those controlling queers who try to stage-direct how others act

Those controlling queers who try to stage-direct how others act

And, scene! The holidays, the boo and the friends may be a recipe for disaster, but getting people to act like someone they're not won't ever work.    READ MORE »

Are you a Sugar Mama/Daddy, or just unfairly supporting your partner?

Are you a Sugar Mama/Daddy, or just unfairly supporting your partner?

Being a Sugar Baby is fine if both sides consent to the arrangement. If it's not what you agreed, it’s not only fair to bring it up, but well advised to do so.    READ MORE »

You’re not that busy: What your constant hurry really means

You’re not that busy: What your constant hurry really means

No one is busier than anyone else. We all have the same 24 hours and pack them with priorities. Your "busyness" reads as overextended and self-important.    READ MORE »

 
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