Whoa. Just hold on there, underwear upstart and pro soccer stud Cristiano Ronaldo. Two can make a play for gay fans by endorsing a line of skimpy undergear, and David Beckham was here first. Here’s how it’s done.

Ronaldo let gay fans into his briefs last week. Silly amateur. Silly, rock-hard, swarthy, sexy amateur. Not to be outdone, ever, Beckham bends it in the new fall line of David Beckham Bodywear for H&M. Yes, Ronaldo may be younger and smoother and playing in top form. But Beckham set the celebrity jock underwear standard, and that legendary Becks body is still amazing.

To wit and just in time to stuff your stocking for the holidays, Becks fills out longjohns, pajama bottoms and fresh briefs and boxers in a sauna (video above) to create the steamy lockerroom photos worth scrutinizing below.

Before you're done, just add this to Becks running nearly naked through our dirty minds last spring and his frequent Morning Fix visits. And since too much half-naked jock is never enough, wear yourself out comparing and contrasting with Ronaldo’s CR7 bulgeBen Cohen's StandUp skivvies, and Mario Lopez’s Rated M briefs.

 

Becks waits outside the showers to show you his underwear.

 

 

And it’s not creepy because sausage fest.

 

 

Might as well get comfortable.

 

 

And see what comfort looks like in shorter skivvies.

 

 

Take a seat. And look at me like that.

 

 

No, take a seat in even less clothes. That's better.

 

 

Now grab your ankles.

 

 

Bet that Ronaldo kid never earned a statue. #followthisyoubitches