With a brief Facebook post last month, a 24-year-old college student outside metro Atlanta came out. Not as gay but as a special friend. A companion for hire. You know, an escort. He won’t be slut-shamed and isn’t shy about discussing his work, boyfriend, sex and personal fulfillment.
He asked that his name and certain details about where he lives and what he does be kept private. After all, escorting comes with its own share of risks and he didn’t want to tip off the local cops in his small west Georgia town.
You came out publicly as an escort in a recent Facebook post. What prompted that? What’s the reaction been?
I’ve always believed that if you’re just honest and upfront, then there will be no need for people to perpetuate rumors. I’m an explicit person anyway, but when chatter had started circulating about the possibility of my being an escort, I decided to nip it in the bud. No one in my circle of friends has an issue with it, only a select few chatterbox gays about town.
How does a gay boy like you in a town your size get interested and started in the escort business?
I actually worked as an escort when I was about 19 for a brief period, but was far less vocal about it then. It’s always been a sort of backup when I’ve been cash-strapped, but it’s a fun job anyway. Why not get paid to do something you love, right?
Is there a market for your services in your town or do you travel to bigger cities, like Atlanta?
An overwhelming majority of my clients are either military or straight(ish), married men, so in that sense, yes, there’s a big market, of which I have a monopoly on. Obviously Atlanta would be much more booming, though.
‘I’m pretty adventurous’
How do you settle on your rates and services offered? Is there a line you won’t cross with a client?
I don’t ever explicitly mention any services being exchanged for payment—before, during or after. It goes without saying, because most of my clients are referral-based, meaning I’m being suggested to their friends. I’m essentially the Ashley Dupré among this network of closeted men, which is surprisingly expansive. I’m pretty adventurous when it comes to sex, so it would be hard to bring me to a line I wouldn’t cross. At present I haven’t had any moments like that.
In your Facebook outing, you wrote, “Talk to me about being unfulfilled when you’re “getting 20K for a nut and bicontinental.” Is business really booming?
I’m not unfulfilled. Those instances in particular are unique, but elsewhere business is fine.
How do you find clients? Or how do they find you? Are you concerned that a client might actually be an undercover cop and you’ll get busted?
Like I said, it’s almost all referral-based. I don’t offer sex for money, I offer companionship, which in turn may lead to sex, and if a gentleman would like to offer a little financial support, I’m clearly not going to deny him that request. My legal bases are covered.
For some folks, sex carries shame. And for some, sex workers are shunned. But in your Facebook coming out, you seem upbeat and positive. Are gay folks, like straight ones, just too prudish when it comes to sex?
I think humanity in general is entirely too stilted when it comes to sex. Particularly in the gay community, I’ve never gotten why some gay men treat sex with a sense of damnation. Not only are we noted for our societal progressiveness in other areas, but biologically-speaking, we’re men filled with raging hormones that are sexually attracted to other men laden with raging hormones; to suppress or deny that defies nature. As long as you’re discerning and safe, I fail to see why sex should be treated as a transgression.
I see my sexual adventures as not only entertainment for myself, but for others. I don’t mind sharing the insane stories that evolve within my personal life or using them as entertainment for others. That’s not to say I’m running my mouth about every guy I’ve ever had sex with, but there have been a few hilarious incidents.
As far as sex workers go, there are different facets. What people don’t understand is that escorting is much different than simple prostitution, like the kind you see on “Cops.” Escorting, for the most part, is much safer, clients are actually chosen by the escort, the pay is significantly better, and it’s discreet. As someone who used to be in the porn industry, I can say that porn stars get a bad rap too. Sure, there are the disposable twinks who make a brief foray into porn, but the most established porn stars, some of whom I count as personal friends, are by and large some of the most enlightened and intellectual people I know. But because of their occupation, judgment automatically falls upon them. A scientific study came out recently, though, that showed porn stars (actual stars, not just those who acted in porn once or twice) have higher self-esteem, experience more sexual satisfaction, and are more spiritual, and have lower STD rates. Maybe the judgment comes from a slight tinge of jealousy?
‘Stop slut-shaming people’
What’s the strangest request you’ve received from a client? Did you do it?
I don’t get strange requests really. I think the request that was most outside of my comfort zone, only because it’s not a personal fetish of mine, was to piss on a guy, which isn’t really strange. I say to each their own, though. A piss fetish is a lot more common than you’d think.
You do other work outside of escorting, like freelance writing for gay publications. What else? And what’s your long-term plan? As in, escorting won’t last forever, right?
I do freelance work but am also about to start finishing up my last semester of college so that I’ll finally have my political science degree in tow when I inevitably decide to get out of the industry. As far as a long-term plan goes, I have no idea to be honest. But I want to at least have a formal education under my belt before I start to decide where I want my life to go next.
Your Facebook profile says you’re in an “open relationship.” How does your escorting impact your relationship? Is it something you and your boyfriend discussed and set ground rules?
I spent far too long sacrificing my ideals for the ideals of another and eventually couldn’t take it anymore, so now I’m up-front with anyone who I decide to enter into a relationship with. That being said, yes, he knows, and the relationship is very casual, so it doesn’t weigh on him.
Anything else you want to add?
I think that when you’re comfortable with your sexuality, people tend to quickly judge you because we’ve been taught as a society that sex should be private, when in fact sex is in our everyday lives. I talk about sex openly, which leads people to believe I’m far more promiscuous than I actually am. I’d urge people to branch away from the feudalistic image sex has been given by society, and to stop slut-shaming people who are in control of and responsible with their own sexuality. Read that again: their own sexuality, meaning it belongs to them, not you. When you call someone a whore or a slut, it doesn’t make the person you’re directing the slur at look bad, it makes you look like a judgmental cunt. In the wise words of Trina, “I’m not just a whore or a slut, I’m a plus.”