The long-running mystery of why there’s always more bars for gay guys than lesbians is now solved: The gays party while the lesbians couple up to stay home and raise happy teens.

That’s the takeaway from a study of 78 17-year-olds with lesbian moms who were matched against a similar demographic breakdown of teens raised by straight couples. Take that, American Family Association. These kids are “psychologically well-adjusted.”

The quality of life of 17-year-olds reared in lesbian-parent families did not differ from that of a matched group of adolescents who grew up in heterosexual-parent families, according to a new study published in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics. “Consistently, over the past three decades, researchers have found that the daughters and sons of same-sex parents are psychologically well-adjusted. And now our new data demonstrate that 17-year-olds raised from birth by lesbian mothers are as happy as their peers,” said lead author Loes van Gelderen, MSc, University of Amsterdam.

And these “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” teens of lesbians are not impacted whether their moms know their Baby Daddy – researchers call this donor status, if they faced discrimination, or if the parental units returned the U-Haul and moved to Splitsville. Researchers call that last one maternal relationship continuity.

“The favorable outcomes for these adolescents are a reflection of good parenting by mothers who prepared their daughters and sons for the prospect of adversity,” said Principal Investigator Nanette Gartrell, MD, of the Williams Institute.

In other words, having two moms prepares these teens to better shoulder the shit the world throws at them.

But here’s a cautionary note for the 5,479 lesbian households with kids in Georgia: If your teens are gay, they are more likely to engage in risky behaviors. And if you live in the suburbs, all bets are off.

Photo by Sher Pruitt