10 bad wedding guests you will not be able to avoid

Add this share
So you settled on a big affair to celebrate your love. You thought of everything. From the invitations to the parting gifts, you’re set. Or so you thought.

You think you know your friends and family. But beware. Something funny happens on a wedding that turns them into these 10 guests from mildly annoying to major pains that you might as well prepare for and expect.

Here are 10 ways that friends and family suddenly and unexplainably turn into classic wedding nuisances.

Talk, Talk, Talk

We love you, brother – Dad, Uncle, or random Groomsman’s Trick – but let’s wrap up this toast. Please. We’re begging. No really. The cake and the drag emcee’s makeup are melting.

Sadface emoji

She’s been single longer than you’ve been alive, and weddings are a perfect reminder with a perfectly captive audience. Oh, Debbie or Donnie. Being sad and bitter isn’t your invitation to bend the ear of anyone who’ll listen.

Slutty friend

He’s always your go-to for fun stories about sex-capades. But what makes him fun at a party makes him irritating at weddings. He hits on every man who moves, and the worst is when he describes an amazing blowjob with finger play to your straight brother.


You thought he’d be different than the rest of your lives, but this friend never really strays far from the bar. That is, until it’s time to say or do something wildly inappropriate at the worst possible time. Hey, you’re the one who insisted on open bar.

Somebody’s ex

Who invited a former boyfriend anyway? You’d kick him out if there was a chance in hell he’d leave quietly. Send spies to reign him in when he starts talking about having sex with one of the grooms before they met. And tell those spies not to report back. Ever.


Pretty typical to cry at weddings, right? Not like this. This is not your mom lamenting her grown baby and her lost youth. This is the gay man boohooing so loudly you can’t hear each other’s vows.

Please stop dancing

The first dance is so special, and some dumbass wants to be a part of it. When they’re not stepping in too early or creepy-group-hugging the happy couple, they’re drawing attention with insanely awful Dirty Dancing in the center of the dance floor.

That’s a negatory

If they don’t have anything nice to say, might as well say it loudly and frequently. These guests think they’re funny, or they passive-aggressively think they’re right, when they “jokingly” take bets on how long the marriage will last. That is, when they’re not outside smoking, complaining about the food, guessing how much everything costs, or bragging about their off-registry gift.

Country cousins

Whether it’s the tacitly anti-gay uncle, the cousin with the big mouth, the sociopathic underdressed sister and her boyfriend, or the Black Sheep with no filter who may or may not be on meth right now, someone in one of your families is not going to mix well with just about everyone else.

Worst man

Your groomsmen are your boys, ports in a storm when the day gets hectic. Right? Well, one of them will go off the reservation and try to make it all about him. Have someone prepared to shut it down when he tries to create his own showstopper.

This feature also appeared in Q ATLus magazine. Read the full issue online here:

Find us each week at LGBTQ and allied venues, and find new content here every day.


10 people you never, ever want to date again

You know them. Maybe you loved them. Just say no to the these 10 LGBTQ people who we never, ever want to date again.   Bitter &...

The best LGBTQ things to do in Atlanta this weekend

Shows, sports and other queer shenanigans top a busy list of Atlanta events for LGBTQ and allied weekenders. Keep scrolling and click on each event...

Gender nonconforming person beaten, puppy stolen in Midtown

An armed robber pistol-whipped a 53-year-old gender nonconforming person in his Midtown home last month then stole the victim's puppy. The suspect is still...

Q ATLus catches Atlanta dreaming of Pride Weekend

Every last one of us will probably take a different route to celebrating Pride 2021, and that’s OK. With love in their hearts and safety...

Atlanta at center of jump in anti-LGBTQ hate crimes

Two-thirds of the 28 anti-LGBTQ hate crimes reported in Georgia by the FBI in 2020 occurred in metro Atlanta. The number of overall hate crimes...