Forget for a moment that he single-handedly kept the Houston Texans in the conversation last season, or that he’s on every other billboard in town. Today our focus is on JJ Watt the drop-dead hunk who keeps winning gay fans.
Keep your leaner Super Bowl quarterbacks. There’s enough burly handsomeness packed into this big side of beefy defensive end to sack those posers where they stand. And hey, gay Houston, he’s right here at home too!
Yes, he’s fun at the Pro Bowl, and yes he’s an all-around good guy with regular shout-outs to armed service members and a fierce loyalty to the ‘Stros and the Rockets. But let’s face it; gay fans wouldn’t pay half the attention to all of that if this talented Texans toughie wasn’t So. Damn. Hot. He’s sexy, he’s silly, and we love No. 99. Long time.
We love, for example, to wake up to a new tweet or Instagram snapshot by Mega Watt that sets us dreaming. Most recently, Justin James took a bro-cation to the beach for an annual meeting of the manflesh, and we were enrapt all over again.
One weekend a year, 10 best friends from high school. Always remember where you came from & who helped get you here. pic.twitter.com/1EgTYda6Uw— JJ Watt (@JJWatt) February 9, 2015
That got us to thinking. How do gay fans love thee, JJ? Let us count the ways.
We love thee for all thine shirtless frolics.
That all-American love of family and Christmas is cute.
But we like it more when JJ grabs his stick and leans into it.
Or puts his camera where our face needs to be.
Or assumes a position.
Or lays back.
Yes, it’s about those guns.
Not to mention those abs.
And how he’s always sporting a package of VPL.
Hey, don’t blame us. We’re not alone.
Hell, we like him just ironing.
Or doing this.
Or … yeah, just like that.
OK, seriously just standing there will do it.
No wonder he’s got a ‘Magic Mike’ parody,
white-boy moves notwithstanding.
And ‘50 Shades of JJ’
Yeah, he is not in “The Hunger Games” either.
Let’s just break to watch his upper-body training.
You know, when he’s not training with Katy Perry.
And Justin Timberlake.
Ah, JJ. You had us at Texans.
You gave us that look, and we were hooked.
Sure, the intensity is appealing.
But don’t overdo it and get mad, boo. We love you.
That’s better. Show us that Mega Watt smile.
That's the stuff.
Now pardon us while we wipe up.