Meet LGBTQs caught in rebounds, clusters and other conundrums

Should you worry that you're moving on too quickly after a breakup? Do you think everybody gets laid more than you? Are your ties with friends in knots? Welcome to The Q advice column. 

Q:

How long is long enough after a breakup before I get into another relationship? When do I know I'm ready to take the plunge again? 

My wife dumped me while I was recovering from a major medical issue. We divorced and sold our house. 

So I met this cute woman, and now I want to take her home to meet mama. I can totally see us getting married. Is it too soon?

Dear Hurry Up:

That’s a lot. First, take a breath. Now, take another. Deeper. There ya go.

Now, just by asking if it’s too soon, you show that something inside may say that, for you, right now definitely feels like Fast & Furious 9. 

Love isn’t on a timeline. What’s your hurry?

You’ve heard of rebound relationships, and we know serial monogamy is a longstanding queer epidemic. When it happens to you personally, it may be hard to tell the difference between real deal and fake news.

Stop and listen to your feelings. Does it feel like a rush job? Do you need to get married again, or want to be with this woman forever? Would it hurt to continue dating to find out? Therein lies your answer.

 

Q:

I thought I was satisfied, but now I’m pretty sure that everybody is having more sex than me. Other gay guys are getting all kinds of laid, and here I sit with my occasional booty call and random hookup.

Dear Always Greener:

The only thing worrying about it gets you is more frustrated. Forget assumptions about, and braggadocio from, other people. Go back to your initial statement: You were satisfied. What, was worrying somehow more appealing than that?

 

Q:

Here’s a queer conundrum for you. I want a guy named Paul, but Paul has the hots for this bisexual couple Sadie and Noah. And, yep, Noah and Sadie are all about me. Help!

Dear Cluster:

That you’re all friends is a great start. Buy a bottle of wine, call a meeting and see what happens. The knots can’t get more twisted by applying some honest communication to the situation.

The Q is for entertainment purposes and not professional counseling. Send your burning Qs to [email protected]

Illustration by Brad Gibson.

This column originally appeared in Q magazine. Read the full issue below, and pick up a new edition each Wednesday.