10 things that really make you a truly sexy queer

Spoiler alert: It’s not about finances or fitness when looking for the secret to the laws of attraction. When it comes to being sexy, here’s what your fellow queers are really looking for.

1. Balance (top photo)

Moderation: It’s not just for alcohol anymore. Manage all aspects of life without over-doing it – work, play, fitness, activities for self-improvement.

 

2. Humor Me

Show us a traditionally unattractive person who makes us laugh, and we’ll show you the hottest queer in the room.

 

3. Get a Life

Know your skills, make a plan for the future and execute it. Lasts longer than a flash of visual stimulation.

 

4. Diverse Portfolio

Take a stand. Spend time thinking about what's important. Be about something. 

 

5. Dependence vs. Independence

Be neither too codependent nor constantly trying to prove you don’t need anybody. Have it together, but know when to ask for help. Vulnerability, not helplessness, is sexy.

 

6. Interpersonal Skills

An ability to build personal relationships is more valuable than an ability to snag a person’s temporary attention over an app.

 

7. Comfortable in Your Skin

Love your imperfect body. Confidence in what you’re working with is more appealing than perfect abs on a person who can’t pass a mirror without stopping.

 

8. Up with People

Kindness to yourself and others is sexy. Don’t compare yourself to others, positively or negatively.

 

9. Genuine Article

Happy all the time or constantly put out are constructs to hide your true self. Sexy is the honesty to show the complex person underneath the outer shell.

 

10. Smarty Pants

The cliché that the brain is the biggest sex organ is true, so if stereotypes come from somewhere, let yours come from a humble show of intelligence.

A version of this article originally appeared in Q Magazine. Read the whole issue below.